


The Art of Delusion

by SheWhoWalksUnseen



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: 10th Kingdom AU, And Angst oops, Bill Cipher Being Bill Cipher, But some things have been edited to fit Gravity Falls, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Half Wolf!Bill, M/M, Mabifica is NOT a side pairing in this, Most of the plot is similar to the miniseries, Older Pines Twins, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pacifica and Mabel are not side characters, Pacifica is so done with this shit, Stanley and Dipper are so done with this shit, Troll!Gideon, You don't need to know what 10th Kingdom is to read this btw, badass!Pines family, tad strange makes a cameo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:20:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWhoWalksUnseen/pseuds/SheWhoWalksUnseen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper and Mabel Pines had been living happily with their great-uncle Stan for years in Gravity Falls. That is, until the twins are tackled in the park by a dog that Mabel insists on keeping. From there it all spirals downhill as clumsy trolls, magic mirrors, and fairytales come to life seem to be around every corner as the Pines family struggles to find their way back home.</p><p>Of course, it doesn't help that a certain evil king wants them gone and this guy tagging along won't leave Dipper alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wishing on a Star

**Author's Note:**

> I'm here to educate you all in what the glorious 2000 miniseries The 10th Kingdom is (seriously, get your ass over and watch it)... and to provide you with another GF AU, of course. Hopefully this fic ends up being entertaining enough to get you to check out the 10th Kingdom.
> 
> In this AU, Pacifica is a princess in another dimension (this shall be explained I swear), the supernatural aspects of the town don't exist, and Stanford Pines has been missing for about 40 years or so from the start of this story. The twins are twenty-one in this story. Certain characters don't live in the town and have been instead made into 10th Kingdom characters as well.
> 
> (I thoroughly apologize for all the breaks in the first chapter SORRY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, in other words, Pacifica is having a bad day and the chase begins.

_I'm wishing on a star,_

_To follow where you are,_

_I'm wishing on a dream,_

_To follow what it means..._

* * *

 Dipper and Mabel Pines lived on the edge of the woods.

 Well, not _exactly._ If being surrounded by the forest already counted.

 The Mystery Shack, their great-uncle Stan's cheap tourist trap, wasn't too far from the town area of Gravity Falls, Oregon. The two of them often wondered why Stan had decided to build his house in the woods but they had never asked. Probably had something to do with his distaste for most of the idiots in the town. Personally, Mabel and Dipper didn't care where the Shack was. They rather liked the town's residents for the almost decade that they had gotten to know them.

 The twins had lived in the Shack since they were twelve and a car crash had killed their parents. While they had initially had trepidations about living with a great-uncle they barely knew, both had grown to love the small town and all of its residents. They had initially been a bit intrigued by the rumors of supernatural happenings in the town, but it was proven rather quickly that they were all just myths. Stan's oddities that he cooked up in his tours were all just hoaxes to reel in money. The twins didn't mind the lack of magic and mystical creatures, though. By the time they had finished college, they had already packed to stay in Gravity Falls and help Grunkle Stan for a long while. Even though the old man griped about having two extra mouths to feed, the siblings could tell that he was pleased to have them staying in the Mystery Shack still. Sure, Soos and Wendy stopped by occasionally to help out or say hello, but it wasn't the same as watching his great-niece and great-nephew having a water balloon fight after a long day of work.

 Ah, he was getting sappy with old age.

 Sappy or not, the twins thoroughly enjoyed working at the old tourist trap. It felt more like home than Piedmont ever had been for them. In time the pain of grief faded and the past became history. They were content and happy with their lives in the tiny town in Oregon.

 It was such a shame that everything spiraled out of control when it did...

 "Keep up, Dippingsauce!"

 "Why don't you slow down?"

 Mabel laughed before gagging as strands of her long brown hair entered her mouth. "Oh, ew!"

 "Told you."

 She stuck out her tongue childishly at her brother as she stopped running, chest heaving as she gently pulled the rest of her hair out of her mouth. Dipper stopped beside her, panting much more heavily and wiping sweat off his brow. Over the years he may have grown to be a few inches taller than her, but there was no way he was ever going to be faster than Mabel. He could have sworn that she had blood of a cheetah in her.

 "I believe you owe me ten bucks, Sir Dippingsauce," Mabel said grandly, holding out her hand with a smile.

 Dipper muttered some unkind things under his breath before fishing out the cash for her. "I still don't know why you even wanted to have that bet."

 "It's funny watching your face turn red when you run!"

 "Gee, thanks," the young man punched her shoulder (albeit very lightly). "I am glad to know that my suffering pleases you so."

 Mabel giggled and looked around the park. "Wow, that's weird."

 "What is?"

 "I've never seen the park this empty."

 Dipper frowned and as he too glanced at his surroundings, he saw that his twin was correct. While the park wasn't normally crowded in Gravity Falls, he had never seen it so silent and empty. Not a soul was in sight. It was around dinner time, so perhaps people were off eating instead of strolling through the park. A small breeze rustled the leaves on the trees and he adjusted his blue and white trucker hat so it wouldn't blow away.

 "It is sort of weird."

 "Maybe they were all eaten by a dragon," Mabel teased, nudging her younger sibling in the ribs. Dipper rolled his eyes. He was interested in the supernatural and had even been thinking on writing a book on it. It was well-known throughout the town that he was more than a little bit paranoid about such things - even if he had yet to see a remotely supernatural incident occur.

 "Yeah, I hear they eat loud girls with sweaters."

 His sister giggled and shoved him away. "Or maybe they like sweaty dorky boys for appetizers."

 "Pffft, Mabel, shut up." Despite his words, the man was laughing too. "I'm pretty sure any magical creature would probably find you more delicious to eat."

 "Nope!"

 "Yes."

 "No, they wouldn't!"

 "I bet they would."

 "If you're wrong you owe me ten more bucks!"

 "Seriously?"

* * *

 In another land on the way to a large fortress, a young woman was starting to grow bored and irritated.

 "Where exactly are we going?" Pacifica asked her servant, letting her contempt for the bumbling fool seep into her every word. The princess of the 4th Kingdom had been riding in this golden carriage for what felt like hours (although in actuality it was only about forty minutes) and she was growing sick of seeing farmland everywhere.

 "To Beantown in the southwest corner of your Kingdom, ma'am. You are accepting the throne that the craftsmen there have made for your Coronation," the man reminded her, doing his best not to flinch at her obvious disdain. The blonde woman was shockingly like her late parents who had cared little for those not equal to their stature of power. It was rare to see her smile genuinely anymore since their death when she was small. The servant nearly shuddered at the memory of that day. Everyone in all of the 9 Kingdoms knew who that murderer was, fear spreading like wildfire from that day forth. It was a miracle that the princess had been spared from the attempt on her own life when he had been imprisoned.

 Pacifica's posture remained ever rigid and proper as she glanced back out the window. Personally, she saw no need for the visit to Beantown. They were all morons and couldn't seem to think for themselves. "Is it much further, Alfred?"

 "Not greatly. However, first we must make a brief stop at the Snow White Memorial prison." The servant watched her face carefully for any signs of panic or distress.

 The princess did not react to the revelation, although if one looked very closely they would notice her swallow hard. "I see." She left it at that, not wanting to say more on the subject.

 She hated visiting the prison. Sure, it was named after her late grandmother and was the top notch prison in all of the 9 Kingdoms, but she got goosebumps every time she went near that place. Not to mention the fact that she didn't think it was necessary at all to pay a visit to the man who had killed her parents and tried to do her in too.

 But of course, since she was going to be crowned queen, she needed to keep up appearances. She had to show the Kingdoms that she was going to be a strong ruler.

 Pacifica wrinkled her nose in disgust at the sight of grubby commoners walking down the road outside her carriage window. "The people in this area are so _common_."

 Alfred ignored that comment. "Oh, and your stepfather has applied for parole again, which we will of course turn down."

  _Thank goodness_. Pacifica couldn't help but think to herself in relief.

 "Good."

 As if sensing her discomfort, Alfred bit his lip. "This diversion to the prison is merely a routine courtesy visit, won't take more than an hour of our time."

 She definitely hoped so. The princess didn't want to be there any longer than she was required to be. With a quiet sound of acknowledgement, she turned back to the window and continued watching the common folk outside.

 Alfred said nothing else, merely picking up his book with a soft sigh and starting to read. He had the feeling that this was going to be a long trip.

* * *

 "Hey, wanna see how high I can climb this tree?"

 Dipper rolled his eyes. "Mabel, we have to get back to the Shack in half an hour. You know how Grunkle Stan gets about us being late."

 His sister blew a raspberry at him. "It won't take long, Dipper! Stop being so serious or that mysterious dragon in the park is going to eat you."

 "If he was going to eat me, he would have done so by now."

 Mabel ignored her brother and began scaling the tree remarkably quickly. He was so moody lately. She wondered to herself if it was because the Mystery Shack hadn't been earning as much money as it used to. It was clear that Grunkle Stan was worried about the declining sales too, and she couldn't help the pang in her heart when she imagined what would happen if they didn't make enough money. Dipper had sworn to try and find some more attractions and contact other people to maybe sponsor them, but so far they hadn't had much luck.

 Glancing down at Dipper, Mabel took more notice than she usually did of his dark bags under his eyes. How late had he been staying up trying to find a way to help the Shack? Had he even slept at all?

 "You okay?" She blinked when she realized she had been staring for longer than necessary.

 "Yeah, I'm okay. Just...thinking."

 Dipper snorted, not thinking much of it. "Well, don't think so hard that you fall from the tree. We don't want to have to visit the hospital this summer."

 The gloom that had momentarily settled over her vanished at his teasing words. "Yeah, you know how Grunkle Stan gets when he has to spend extra money!"

 Dipper chuckled and smiled as he watched his twin sister continue her way up the tree. She looked like a brightly colored monkey up that high. "I'm serious, though. Be careful, Mabel. We're not as little and light as we used to be." She put on a mock-horrified expression as she peered down at him, barely concealing a smile.

 "Dipper Pines, did you just call me heavy?"

* * *

 This place gave him the chills. The Troll King snorted quietly as he passed a cell door where soft whimpering could be heard. Some creatures just weren't meant for prison. He wouldn't be surprised if they went crazy within a week. He smirked at the thought.

 His smirk soon morphed into a harsh scowl when he spotted the names of those he had been looking for on the door at the end of the hall. Honestly, couldn't his children stay out of trouble for longer than a month? This was the fifth time he had had to break them out of some prison.

 Luckily for Gideon the Troll King however, his golden shoes were all he required to assist him in this rescue mission.

 As he passed the guard by the cell door, he slowed down his pace and reached into his pocket to pull out the pouch of pink, glittering dust he carries everywhere. With a gleeful smile he poured a small amount into his hand. He threw the dust directly into the guards face with a soft chuckle. The guard looked confused for only a split second before he sighed and collapsed onto the ground outside the door. The Troll King crouched down beside the sleeping form and searched him for the key. He smirked upon finding it and grasped it tightly in his hand. The aged piece of metal soon disappeared under the spell of his magic shoes and became invisible like he was.

  _Mouth-breathing fools_ , he thought to himself with a roll of his eyes.

 The Troll King moved to the cell door he had been looking for, swiftly unlocking it. He opened it silently, watching as three heads immediately turned in the room before the trolls scrambled into a huddle watching him. He gives them only a second or two to stand there before snarling at them.

 "You're pathetic! Do you have any idea how _irritating_ it is to have to break into prisons to free your ungrateful behinds?"

 "Sorry, Dad!" The tallest troll (Burly) spoke up. His light brown wrinkled skin, thick dark hair, and red leather outfit causes him to look slightly older than the other two. Gideon took pride in the fact that his elder son was almost as strong as him with his large figure and big arms.

 "Sorry, Dad!" Blabberwort, the only female of the children, echoed her brother's words as she gave him a toothy smile. With her thick red curly hair and darker skin she was also intimidating, though not quite as tall as Burly.

 "It won't happen again," the youngest troll (Blue Bell) piped up, his nasally voice grating as per usual. His skin was much darker than his siblings' and his brown hair was just as thick as Burly's. Gideon would have found his youngest son more frightening if he wasn't so damn short. Then again, he himself had been similarly small when he was the troll's age. Perhaps he would shoot up in the near future.

 "Next time you are on your own!" he sneered at them, forgetting that his children couldn't see the furious look on his face.

 Burly glanced at his siblings before turning back to his invisible father. "Come on, Dad. Take off the shoes!" There was a faint note of concern in his tone.

 "I can handle them," the Troll King spat out although he did indeed begin to remove the golden shoes. As the invisibility wore off, he slowly became more visible to the other trolls. He wore pointed leather boots that had fit snugly inside the magic shoes, pale skin almost glowing in the dim lighting. He was about the size of Blabberwort, albeit with much broader shoulders and a wider body in general. His hair was a shocking white-blond color and blew upward in the front, making him look taller than he was in reality. He too wore leather like his children and had several piercings in his large pointed ears. As the gold sparkles of the magic disappear, he stumbled forward with a groan, nearly collapsing before his children grabbed ahold of his arms.

 He immediately wrenched free, scowling at them when they back away uneasily. They knew how angry he got about being touched when he didn't want to be.

 Gideon reached down and picked up the gold shimmering shoes, which were adorned with a small silver crown on top of them. He placed them almost lovingly back inside his leather pack. He gave his three children a curt look before turning away.

 "Come on," is all he said before leaving the cell. Burly, Blabberwort, and Blue Bell hastily followed with anxiety written all over their faces.

 Gideon had only walked down the next corridor over when he heard a deep male voice call out, _"Wait!"_ He froze instantly, grunting as his children ran into his back in confusion. He glanced back at them but they clearly did not hear the voice like he had. Curiously, he looked around for the source.

  _"Come to me,"_ it spoke again, this time sounding much more haunting than before.

 It appeared to be coming from the corridor leading to the Maximum Security Wing. A crude smirk painted his lips as he headed in that direction, his curiosity getting the better of him as he completely ignored his children's confused words.

* * *

 As the golden carriage entered the causeway to the Snow White Memorial Prison, Pacifica couldn't help but sigh at the sight of the imposing fortress growing ever nearer. She always hated visiting this place; it didn't feel homely or right to set foot in those dark corridors. All she felt in her gut was an impending sense of dread.

 She yawned as Alfred hopped out first to open the door, trying not to look quite as panicked by the sight of nobody waiting for them. Had they forgotten all about her visit? She sighed in annoyance. "Well, this is unsatisfactory."

 The servant took one look at the princess' haughty demeanor, her ivory dress with a purple ribbon running across it shimmering in the sunlight, and quickly said in a reassuring tone, "I'm sure they haven't forgotten about your visit, your highness." He hurriedly headed for the massive prison door. He hoped that he was right and that there wasn't a more serious issue at hand here.

* * *

 The Troll King glanced at his left where a notice was hung up beside a large security door. He read it in a glimpse before unlocking the door with the keys he had stolen from the various guards he had put to sleep with Troll Dust on the way here.

 MAXIMUM SECURITY WING

 PRISON GUARDS:

 DO NOT ENTER ALONE!

 DO NOT ENTER UNARMED!

 DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT GOVERNERS APPROVAL!

 The Troll snorted and rolled his eyes before continuing on, hearing his three children hurry after him still chattering away. Did they _ever_ shut up?

 "Dad! We're not supposed to be here!" Blue Bell called after him, sounding nervous.

 "No one's ever allowed in here! This is where they keep the King..." Burly's voice trailed off when he realized his father didn't care. The three children hurried after Gideon, growing admittedly worried about how he had yet to respond to them since rescuing them from their cell. Why was he going this way? Did he not know what the King could do to him?

 Gideon the Troll King found himself at the far end of a long corridor, facing a single cell at the opposite side. As he began walking down it, various warning signs popped up around his head.

 ABSOLUTELY NO COMMUNICATION WITH PRISONER

 He sidestepped the first sign, gritting his teeth as the next sign nearly hit him in the head.

 ABSOLUTELY NO PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH PRISONER

 The final sign dropped down from the ceiling, this time attached with a basket.

 NO FOOD BEYOND THIS POINT

 Growling in irritation, Gideon moved around it, ignoring how his children were protesting ("Dad, are you sure this is a good idea?" "This doesn't look good!" "What's going on here?"). He continued to ignore them yelling that this could be trap and eyed the cell door in front of him. This time when the man's voice came, all of the Trolls heard it.

  _"Open the door...Open the door to everything you desire..."_

 The Troll King made up his mind and opened the latch on the viewing hole to cell. As he did so, a blast of pink light met his blue eyes and as it faded away he couldn't help but stare.

 The man inside wasn't necessarily handsome, although his relaxed posture made the viewer a little more calm. He had greying hair that was combed rather nicely for someone who was stuck in a prison cell. His brown eyes glittered behind rather large glasses as the Troll King looked over his dark robes and leather boots. The man was caressing a golden retriever beside him gently and overall had this look of serenity about him. The hood of his cape sent a shadow over his face that somehow gave Gideon a dangerous feeling in the pit of his stomach. The presence of the stranger was strong and intimidating, a warning in his expression stating that he was not to be underestimated.

  _The King indeed_ , Gideon couldn't help but think to himself.

* * *

 Pacifica was growing bored again, this time from awaiting Alfred's return. What was taking him so long? Did he not understand that she didn't wish to be here any longer than needed?

 Swallowing a flicker of fear down, she adjusted her dress and headed for the prison doors. "Alfred? Alfred?" There was no response.

 She called louder, glancing around as she tentatively stepped past the doors. "Alfred!" She bit her lip as she turned to look at the carriage. If something was wrong, she needed to see what had happened. She was a princess, soon-to-be queen, of the 4th Kingdom. There was no option for panicking and hiding.

 Cautiously she headed inside further, furrowing her brow at how dark it was. "Hello?" Was there really no other human beings in this prison? Were they all asleep or something?

 "Is _anyone_ here? Alfred?"

 The door behind her unexpectedly swung shut and the blonde's head whipped around. A silent scream was choked back as she stared at the sight of her servant impaled on spikes embedded in the door. The vacant expression made her swallow hard as bile rose in her throat.

  _Oh god. Oh_ god.

 The princess felt as if she were going to be ill.

 "Hello, Princess!" a nasally voice shouted near her, causing her to turn in fright. It only took her a moment to recognize the face of a female Troll before she was shoved backwards into a pair of unfamiliar arms, loud cackling in her ear. She vaguely noted that there were at least two other Trolls in the corridor with her, not counting the female. The blonde gasped as she was ferociously thrown against the wall, her head aching sharply from the blow.

 Stumbling backwards, she shook her head as she tried to regain her bearings but then the shortest Troll shoved her again into a different wall. Pacifica groaned as pain erupted in her head once more. She was beginning to get dizzy. One of the creatures began to slap her face before she was dragged backwards down the corridor. She struggled for a second, trying to escape, but a swift blow to the knees was all it took for her to collapse onto the stone floor. Another kick to her side made her bite her lip, fighting not to cry out. She felt her dress being ripped at the bottom and almost heard her mother's stern voice in her head, scolding her for ruining a perfectly good garment.

  _This really isn't my day._

 "Now she's mine!" a Troll cried out, jolting her from her pain-filled thoughts. They sounded far too gleeful for her taste.

 "No, I get the first shot!" the shortest Troll snapped from where he is standing by her head.

 Pacifica glanced up and saw the tallest Troll shove the shorter one. "You got the first last time!"

 Seeing her chance, the blonde ignored the ensuing bickering and crawled as fast as she could towards the exit. It was difficult to ignore the pain in her body and the dizziness but she managed.

 " _Enough!_ " This new voice caused her to involuntarily freeze, a sharp pained gasp escaping her lips. _No. No, it can't be. That's not possible!_ "You're a long way from your castle, Pacifica."

 The King's amused tone made her grit her teeth in an unlady-like fashion before she shakily stood, facing him. Fear, disbelief, and anger swirled in her gut as she gazed at him, noting how serious he looked. He looked the same as he always had, and for some reason this infuriated her more.

 "Maybe you should have stayed there. Although now that you're here...this certainly will make things easier for me." He walked forward, only feet away from her, and tilted her chin up so that her eyes met his dark gaze. "Silly girl, aren't you?"

 Pacifica backed away, nostrils flaring as she struggled to keep her expression calm. "You - You will pay for this." Judging by the expression on the King's face, she wasn't succeeding at appearing strong. The Trolls moved closer, as if anticipating what would happen next. That sick feeling came rushing back as the man laughed.

 "Oh, I don't think so. On the contrary, I think you'll find...there's very little you'll be able to do." The King bent down to pet the dog at his feet, which the princess had not noticed until now. "You know what this is? This is a very _special_ kind of dog." Every bone in her body began to scream at her to run at the enunciation of the word "special", like it was important.

 "I hope you like dogs, Pacifica. You're going to spend the rest of you life as one."

 Before she had time to process this declaration, the golden retriever rushed towards her. She stared in shock as it placed its front paws upon her stomach. The moment they came in contact, the animal began to radiate a golden aura and morphed, growing taller by the minute. The fur transformed into pale skin, ears shrinking, long blonde hair forming on the now-human head. She gasped in astonishment as she realized she was face-to-face with the spitting image of herself, albeit a more happy version.

 Unfortunately, the transformation wasn't done quite yet. Pacifica's eyes widened as she noticed how the world was growing larger around her and how her skin was becoming golden fur. Everything smelled ten times more powerful (she nearly gagged at the scent the Trolls gave off) and when she glanced behind her, she spotted a tail sprouting from her behind. She tried to scream but all that came out was a bark as her face contorted and she felt herself shrink.

 The Trolls began to laugh and clap, clearly amused as the princess whipped her head around, horrified at the fact that she had been magically transformed into a _dog_. The dog-turned-princess had her tongue out, scratching her head and messing up her long blonde hair. Whether or not they had noticed the difference between their canine body and this human form was unclear. Either way they didn't seem to care.

 Pacifica looked up at the looming satisfied face of the King and tried again to scream insults at him - but all that she managed to get out was a loud bark. The man smirked at her attempt.

 "That wasn't _so bad,_ was it?" His mocking tone immediately caused her to snarl - _actually snarl_ , god she was becoming more animalistic with every second - and he only chuckled in amusement at her anger. "Come now, you don't greet people on _all fours,_ do you?" He turned away laughing with the Trolls at his own joke.

 She had to get out of here. She had to get help.

 Pacifica bolted as fast as possible down the corridor, not caring that the shouts of the Trolls and the King were reaching her ears.

 "Stop her! Bring her back to me _alive_!" The King bellowed, his dark gaze fixed on the three Troll siblings as they ran in the direction of the canine.

 "We'll get her! She's not getting anywhere!" Burly yelled back as he led the charge.

 Blue Bell hurried after his brother but Blabberwort paused and turned back to say, "She can't escape, we're in a prison!" The King merely pointed at her to continue running and the female Troll obeyed quickly.

 The Trolls were all idiots. He needed a backup plan in case those knuckleheads didn't catch the princess. He glanced at the dog-turned-princess as she spun about, frowning in deep concern.

 "Well, your highness...anything to say?"

 The young woman paused in her movement, whimpering pathetically as she looked up at the man. Her expression was the epitome of sorrow.

 "Wh - Where's my tail gone?"

* * *

 It was starting to grow dark out and Dipper sighed as he watched Mabel lying on her back in the grass near him. They really should be getting back. He always got a bit paranoid near the woods in the dark, despite the fact that he knew no monsters were going to get him. The supernatural aspects of this town were just stories, after all.

 Still he couldn't help but feel as if something was coming. Something he couldn't explain...

 "Hey, Mabes?"

 She made a quiet sound of acknowledgment, gazing upward at the stars that were slowly starting to peek through.

 "We should get back to the Mystery Shack. It's almost time to eat anyway."

 The brunette groaned as she watched her brother get to his feet. "Do we have to? I'm sure Grunkle Stan wouldn't mind us being gone for a few more minutes."

 "Mabel - "

 "We _are_ adults, Dipper," she continued in a strangely serious voice, which contrasted with the pout that was forming on her face.

 Dipper sent her a look, raising an eyebrow when she flopped onto her side. "Ugh, fine. Give me a minute or two to get up."

* * *

 He couldn't trust those Trolls to do this. He needed help.

 The prisoners in the cells around him were all pleading with the King to free them, eyes wide with longing. One man tried to reach out and grab the keys from his very hands, but the King merely stepped out of reach, rolling his eyes at his expression of sorrow. Definitely not that one.

 As he strolled calmly down the corridor, he ran his eyes over each cell, searching for some untapped potential - or at least someone intelligent and competent.  He spotted one man simply sobbing in his cell, hunched up in a ball. No, not him.

 "Please give us something to eat! I haven't had any food since yesterday!"

 The King ignored the prisoner's cry, merely looking over at another cell, examining its contents.

 "Let us out! Come on, just give us the key, let us out!"

 Again he ignored their call. He faintly noted the guard covered in pink Troll Dust leaning against a pillar to his right. Gideon the Troll King had apparently made short work of all the guards - for which he was admittedly grateful. Being patient had its rewards in the end after all. 

 His brown eyes connected with one prisoner's stare and he stopped, expression unreadable. Of all the yelling and pleading prisoners in this corridor, only this one remained silent. He looked young, maybe in his twenties, with messy dirty blond hair and light brown skin. The King walked towards the man, intrigued. His eyes appeared to be a vibrant dark blue, some hidden emotion lurking behind them. He was admittedly handsome, in a dirty rugged way. While his appearance was of a tired human, there was something off about him that drove the King to believe he wasn't entirely so.

 This seemed to be exactly what he needed.

 "What are you?" he asked bluntly.

 The young man raised an eyebrow as if surprised he hadn't figured it out yet. His hands gripping the bars seemed to tighten a bit at the question.

 "Isn't it obvious? Not quite as all-knowing as you appear, _your majesty_." The blatant mocking tone to his voice didn't faze the King (although the rather high-pitched voice did throw him for a loop, but not for long).

 "You know well who I am. Now tell me what you are."

 The blond smirked before leaning closer. His body shuddered for a moment, eyes shutting, and when he opened them again his eyes were a glowing golden color. Just as quickly as the pigment appeared however, it vanished and left him with ordinary blue eyes. His bangs fell over one eye as he grinned in an unhinged way at the man. "Half Wolf."

 Oh, yes. He would do.

 The King stepped closer, holding the keys up so that the prisoner could see them. "Do you have a name?"

 "Bill Cipher," the man practically growled, eyes fixed on the keys with such hunger that it isn't difficult to imagine him as a Wolf.

 "Interesting name. I will free you," Bill's gaze brightened, eyes flitting to the King's face. "However, I want something in return for your freedom."

 He grasped the cell bars tighter, knuckles nearly white. "What do you want?"

 "All I want is for you to serve me."

 Something similar to amusement and trepidation flashed across the man's face before he glanced at the keys again, then at the King's expectant expression.

 "Deal."

 He knew this meant a lot coming from a Wolf; loyalty was not taken lightly among their kind. "Good." He began to move the key towards the keyhole. "I've turned Princess Pacifica into a dog."

 Bill immediately burst out laughing, the high-pitched sound unnerving the other prisoners. He gave the King a devilish smile as the man watched him. "Good idea."

 "Find her, before the Trolls do," the King ordered, unlocking the cell door.

 At this the Wolf rolled his eyes. "Trolls." A loud snicker left his lips before he realized his door was unlocked. Eyes brightening, he quickly moved out of the cell, glancing between his cell and the other prisoners before smirking. The King looked over the rest of the Wolf's body, seeing that he was rather skinny for his kind and quite tall. A cotton shirt hugged his form under a dark jacket, brown pants and worn boots. He also noticed that his ears were pierced with triangular black studs, which he had missed prior to now.

 It didn't take more than a few seconds before Bill caught the scent he was looking for. Smiling almost too humanly wide, he began to head in the direction of the scent.

 "Wait!" the King snapped, causing the Wolf to whip his head around and freeze. He didn't appear afraid; he almost looked bored. He stepped closer to the Wolf, a little peeved that he wasn't taller than him to appear more intimidating. "Give your will to me. Be mine, to summon and control." The King grabbed Bill's arm when he made to move away, eyes stern and cold. "Do you understand?"

 Bill's blue eyes searched the other's face for a few moments before he nodded silently. The King smiled at this and watched as the former prisoner hurried away, looking for the missing princess.

* * *

 Pacifica was internally screaming with every step she ran. _Why is this happening? Are there no guards to stop them? How did he even escape? Did those Trolls do something?_ She made a hard right into a new corridor, heart pounding in her now-furry chest. Who was going to believe her if she even went for help? She was a _dog_! Nobody would listen to her!

 "I hear footsteps down that way!" she could hear Blabberwort yell, not exactly quiet when chasing a canine. Nonetheless, her heart skipped a beat when she heard three pairs of footsteps following her trail.

 She had to get out of here fast and turn back into herself once more. Who knew what the King was planning?

 Actually, no. She could probably easily guess the answer to that rhetorical question.

 Judging by how damp the floor was beginning to become, she guessed that she was somewhere in the basement of the Snow White Memorial Prison. Unfortunately with her more powerful nose, she could smell every disgusting thing down here - including something acrid that was suspiciously close to rat urine. _I'm going to lock him up forever the minute I transform back, I swear_ , she growled in her head.

 As she ran further into the basement, she came upon what seemed to be a small storage room with old crates, empty painting frames, and rusting candelabras. Pacifica skidded to a halt in front of a fork between two passages. Before she could decide to think about her options, she heard more Trolls shouting. They sounded only seconds away. Anxiety and her pounding heart caused her to panic and bolt down the left one quickly. At least it was drier down this way.

 She could no longer smell the Trolls, which she assumed meant they were heading down a different pathway. She felt the urge to sigh in relief. However her relief was short-lived when she picked up the sound of splashing far behind. Her dog nose twitched and she took in a new scent. This one definitely wasn't a Troll; no, this pursuer was Half Wolf.

 Damn. The King must have sent backup after her too. She needed an escape, and fast.

 The princess rushed down a different pathway, hoping to lose her enemy as she found herself heading downward. She was soon emerging upon a much larger storage area that seemed older than the previous one. Cobwebs lined every surface, dust causing her nose to twitch incessantly. Strange things were covered by cloths all over the room, most of them sticking out from underneath their covering. It was difficult to tell what each one was. Some appeared to be old carriage wheels, ancient vases, or something equally as breakable.

 Pacifica let out a soft snort as she made her way through the winding mess. It was almost ridiculous how dirty and musty it was down here. The workers really needed to clean up the basement. She made a mental note to herself to tell someone about how filthy it was when she changed back.

 Well, _if_ she changed back. Because at this rate, she was far from becoming human again.

 Something suddenly caught her attention about the basement, causing the princess to freeze in horror. This was a dead end. She had nowhere to go, that Half Wolf was still after her.

 Oh, what was she supposed to do? Her head whipped around, searching wildly for something to use to defend herself - she immediately inwardly scoffed at her own stupidity because she was a _fucking dog_ \- or to hide under. There were loads of cloths she could use to bury herself under. Then again, the Half Wolf would probably smell her right away and drag her to the King.

 In her frantic searching, the princess knocked over a statue accidentally, which fell onto a table that wobbled uneasily. This caused something clothed and rather large to topple to the ground. The cloth fell off and Pacifica blinked in befuddlement as she realized what this object was. _A magic mirror._ There was no reflection; instead all she saw was a park with multiple great trees lining the area. It didn't look like anywhere she had been in the 9 Kingdoms. A path was nearby, stretching past her viewpoint and wrapping around one of the trees.

 She thought hard, trying to recall what it was that this type of magic mirror was for. Wasn't it something that used to be used for travelling? That would certainly explain the reason why she was seeing such a curious sight.

 This would be an ingenious escape route, especially since that Half Wolf was close by. She could smell him growing nearer by the minute. Still, she had no idea where this place was that the mirror showed her. How was she supposed to get help?

 A pair of shadows moving on the path grabbed her attention and Pacifica stared as two people - a young man and a young woman both about her age - came into view. _Ah. Perhaps they can help!_

  _You can't speak, imbecile. How are you going to communicate?_

 The princess-turned-canine shook herself. _I'll figure that out later._

 A soft chuckle behind her caused her to turn in a panic. A blond man with unnervingly bright blue eyes was staring at her, crouching by a large wheel. The way he was staring at her made her want to claw his eyes out.

 "Found you, your highness," he said, his voice surprisingly high-pitched.

 His gaze shifted to the magic mirror as he spotted what she had been looking at and an intrigued look came over his face. "Well, that's new."

 Before she could stop to think or question where she was going to go from here, Pacifica turned and ran straight into the mirror, soon vanishing from the Half Wolf's sight.

* * *

 "What do you think Grunkle Stan is making for dinner?" Mabel asked her brother as they began walking home. It was rare that the two of them got to simply hang out somewhere peaceful, so she was glad that they had gotten to spend time in the park, no matter how short it had been.

 Dipper shuddered. "As long as it isn't Stan-cakes, I'm good with anything."

 She giggled and punched his shoulder playfully. "They aren't _that_ bad, Dipper."

 "They have _hair_ on them. Do you have any idea how awful that sounded coming out of my mouth?"

 "If you ignore that, they taste like regular pancakes! I think you just don't like trying new things. Like Mabel Juice!"

 This brought another shudder from Dipper. "There's a reason I never drink that."

 "Because you're afraid it's too awesome to even comprehend?"

 "...Yeah, let's go with that."

 Out of nowhere, a golden retriever burst out of a bush to Dipper's left, looking disoriented. The animal appeared to be charging straight for them too.

 "What on - ?"

 Before he could finish his exclamation, the dog collided with his chest and he fell over, knocking Mabel down as well. There was a painful smack as he hit his head on the pavement and he could faintly hear his sister groaning before he lost consciousness.


	2. Run for Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, in other words, the Pines twins unwittingly accept a great responsibility and the Trolls take a trip to an old shack.

_Baby let yourself go,_

_It's part of your height,_

_And I know the hunger inside of you is strong,_

_You can only hold back the river so long..._

* * *

 His head was pounding, throbbing to no end. He just wanted to end this pain.

 Someone was calling his name. He wanted to tell them to go away, that they were worsening his headache, but they didn't seem to hear him. Or maybe he just couldn't speak. He wasn't so sure which one was the right conclusion.

 Thinking about it made his head pound more.

 "DIPPER!"

 A loud cry startled him and Dipper sat upright before groaning in pain, gripping his head. He hesitantly let his eyes flutter open and glanced up to see his sister kneeling by him, concern evident in her expression. How long had she been there? What was that sticky feeling on his hand? He pulled his right hand away from his head, eyes growing wide.

 Oh, _wonderful_. Now he was bleeding.

 "Are you okay, bro-bro?"

 Dipper nodded as slowly as possible, worried that moving it too quickly would only make it hurt worse. "Yeah, I think so. I need to bandage my head though."

 Mabel pressed the sleeve of her cherry red sweater against the wound before he could stop her. The fabric tickled his face as she pressed into it gently. "I don't have anything to bandage it right now, but if we get back to the Shack Grunkle Stan should have medical supplies."

 "Good. That should be okay." He noted how she seemed to not be injured. "What about you? What even happened?"

 "I'm okay, my hands got a bit scraped up but other than that, I'm fine. As for what happened...well, look over your shoulder."

 The young man hesitantly turned and spied a golden retriever sitting not a foot away. If he didn't know any better, he would say that the dog was examining them both. Memories came flooding back as he recalled getting tackled by the dog and then blacking out. He felt a little dumb for being knocked down, chewing on his lower lip.

 "Um, how long was I out?"

 "Only a couple of minutes, not too long," Mabel assured him, removing her sleeve from his face to study his cut. "It doesn't look like you have a concussion or anything. Is the pain going away?"

 He didn't bother asking how she knew about his headache; they were twins, it was easy to tell what the other was thinking or feeling. "Yeah, sort of. It felt a lot worse before I woke up, actually."

 "Okay, that's good. We should head back to the Mystery Shack now. We have a head to bandage! ...Also, it's dinnertime."

 Dipper chuckled at her enthusiasm and staggered to his feet with his twin's help, rolling his eyes when she grabbed his arm in a death grip. "I'm not going to topple over, Mabel. It's okay." She merely sent him an eye roll of her own and held on tighter to annoy him.

 "Wait, what should we do with this cutie?" Mabel loosened her grip as her brother had started in the direction of the Mystery Shack and was petting the canine's head.

 "Looks like a stray dog or some lost pet, Mabel. His owner is probably looking for him, so we should just leave him be."

 " _She_ ," the young woman corrected, sending her brother a dirty look. Was he imagining it or did the dog shoot him the same look moments later?

 "I don't even want to know how you know that."

 The brunette groaned loudly and rubbed the animal behind the ears. " _Dipper_. We can't just leave her here! She has no collar!"

 "She isn't ours, we don't need to do anything!"

 This earned him another dirty look. " _Please_ , Dipper? Just for one night? Then we can give her to an animal shelter and put up signs tomorrow."

 He opened his mouth to argue but quickly shut it as the sounds of loud voices came from close by. He had a strange churning sensation in his gut telling him that they needed to get out of the park as soon as possible. "Alright, _fine!_ Just one night, though. Come on, let's get out of here."

 Mabel beamed and embraced him happily. She went to call the dog to follow, but it seemed the golden retriever sensed they were leaving and began to head down the path. She smiled and rubbed the dog's head before they all headed for the Shack.

  _You're a smart girl, aren't you?_ she thought to herself internally.

 Pacifica felt so overwhelmed by the trip through the magic mirror and the events of the day before now. How was she supposed to get help like _this?_ At least she had found these people, perhaps they could help hide her until she found a way to turn back. Judging by the way they acted around each other, they had to be siblings, twins if their identical appearances were anything to go by. From what she had gathered, the boy was named Dipper (a rather stupid name, if she was honest) and the girl was Mabel. It was a bit surprising how eager Mabel had been to take her back to this shack they kept talking about (Were they really _that_ poor?). Well, if she liked animals Pacifica supposed that was good start to getting back to the 4th Kingdom.

 Not that she was planning on being friends with these commoners anyhow. She was a princess, after all. She had a duty to uphold to her kingdom.

 ...God, now she sounded like her mother.

* * *

  _Not two minutes prior..._

 

 Being transported through the magic mirror felt rather like what Bill had always assumed flying felt like: wind whipping past his face making his hair more tousled than it already was, a twisting sick feeling in his gut that told him this was all entirely unnatural. Not that he didn't enjoy it, of course. It was rather fun actually. It was as if he were being tossed through millions of parallel universes with no end to them!

 But, obviously, he had to keep his mind on the task that the King had given him. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He didn't particularly care for that asswipe. Nonetheless, if it meant getting out of that claustrophobic prison cell and off to freedom once more, he couldn't care less.

 The sensation came to a halt as he was ejected from the magic mirror and landed on his feet by a group of thick bushes. Bill's eyes lit up with glee as he took in the familiar scent of the forest lingering in the air. It had been _so long_ since he had been outdoors or even _seen_ the woods! The smell of pine trees was so comforting that he let out a soft exhale, eyes closing in bliss.

 The princess' scent had reached his nose but he chose to remain still for a moment, just taking in the smells assaulting his nose. There was a village not too far off, a relatively small one by the smell of it. Why the mirror had chosen to drop them off here he did not know.

 Two other scents were entwined with the princess' as well. He took a deep inhale, dissecting both. One smelled almost fruity, female judging by the very faint scent she gave off. He wrinkled his nose at the strong aroma. She was a bit _too_ much like a fruit for him to eat - not that he was considering that option just yet. He did have morals, even as a Half Wolf.

 The other however... Bill sucked in a sharper breath, eyes opening wide as the smell hit him hard. This one clearly spent more time outdoors than the female - this one was a male, he noted inwardly - because the smell of pines was wrapped around the stranger. He didn't have the best bathing habits it seemed, but the body odor was almost entirely masked by the scent of good earth and forest air. _Interesting._ _Looks like I've found my own little Pine Tree right here._

 Bill chuckled to himself at his inner wordplay and bounded off into the trees. With the dog so close, this was too easy. Yet, he hadn't run since before he had landed himself in that dreadful prison.

 He would nab the princess in a minute. For now, the Half Wolf wanted to reconnect with the forest again.

 

 The air between the two trees where the Half Wolf had stood moments ago rippled and began to glow as three figures emerged from within. The Troll children looked around, startled and surprised to see what appeared to be a small clearing in a forest. They weren't sure what was off about it, but they felt as if this wasn't any forest they knew of. Journeying a bit into this forest, they decided that this couldn't be from the 4th Kingdom.

 "Suck an elf!" Burly exclaimed, looking around at their surroundings.

 "Where are we?" Blue Bell asked. The other two were too baffled to comment on how his voice shook slightly.

 "This isn't part of the nine kingdoms," Blabberwort decided, squinting at something in the distance. "I believe there is a village down that way! I can hear some sort of ruckus going on down there!"

 "Maybe we should claim this kingdom?"

 "That's a sensational idea!" Burly clapped his siblings on the shoulders. "Let's grab it before someone else does!"

 Blabberwort smiled enthusiastically and grabbed her dagger, kneeling. She held it high above her head as her brother kneeled beside her in the dirt.

 "I hereby claim this land and all of its inhabitants in the name of the Troll race! Henceforth, it shall be known as..." Now she paused, seeming uncertain. "What shall we call it?"

 The three thought hard for a moment (probably harder than they had in all their lives) and then Blue Bell's head suddenly shot up. A bright smile lit up his wrinkled face. "The tenth kingdom!"

 All three siblings, pride blatant in their expression and posture, thrust their weapons into the air. To any resident of Gravity Falls, they would probably appear ridiculous, yet this was a serious moment for the Trolls as they shouted their territory's name in unison.

 "The tenth kingdom!"

* * *

 Dipper glanced over at his sister, who was beaming down at her new companion. She had been talking to the dog the entire way, and they hadn't even made it out of the woods yet. Strangely, the animal almost looked like it was listening to his sister, looking up every so often when Mabel grew particularly energetic. Why she was talking about her entire day to a golden retriever he did not know. This was Mabel - he had long ago learned not to question such things around her.

 "And then Grenda said that her boyfriend Marius was going to come to Gravity Falls for winter! Can you believe it? She talks about him so much, I can't wait to meet him!"

 Here he could have sworn the golden retriever snorted. He rolled his eyes. Now he had to be seeing things.

 Speaking of the dog, he had yet to see anyone wandering around the park looking for their lost pet. Was the dog really a stray? Sure, it wasn't uncommon, but usually they hung around the diner searching for scraps to eat, not running through the woods...

 "I think we should give her a name, what do you think?" It took him a good long moment before Dipper registered that his twin wasn't speaking to the dog anymore.

 "Sorry, what?"

 Mabel looked over and a smile tugged at her lips. Clearly someone had gotten lost in their thoughts again.

 "I said, we should name this sweetheart! I feel weird just referring to her as if she has no name!"

 "Mabel, she's probably a stray. She probably _doesn't_ have a name."

 The brunette gasped in horror and stopped, kneeling to embrace the animal. The dog immediately froze, snapping her head up to stare at Dipper. Something akin to _What is happening?_ was evident in her gaze. He merely smirked at Mabel's obvious care for the animal.

 "That's even more of a reason to give her a name! Poor thing." She loosened her grip and began to rub the dog's head adoringly. Her brother raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "You know, with her stiff posture, she kind of looks regal, doesn't she, Dip? Almost like a princess."

 "Maybe that's what she is," Dipper said teasingly.

 Neither of them expected said creature to look between them both, expression strangely serious for a dog. Dipper wondered if she was trying to nod and brushed that thought away. This was just an ordinary dog, after all. She probably couldn't understand them _that well_.

 "She likes the sound of that!" Mabel cooed, hugging the retriever close once more. "Princess is her name, then!"

 "When you start giving them names, you get attached," Dipper pointed out as his sister stood. The only response he got was a sock to the arm. She continued to carry on a one-sided conversation with the dog - now dubbed Princess.

 Fine. He wouldn't say anything. Let her enjoy her time with her new friend while it lasted.

 "Oh, look! There's the diner!" Mabel cried after a few more minutes of walking. "We're close!"

 "Close to the town, yes."

 She rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the side, though not painfully so. "What's with you? You've been all 'Mr. Grumpy Grumps' since we started heading back."

 Dipper sighed. "Let's just get back to the Shack, okay?" He tried to head in that direction but his sister stepped in his path, grabbing his forearm. Concern was beginning to lace itself in her words as she spoke.

 "You okay? Is something more serious going on, Dip...?"

 He ran a hand through his hair with another sigh. It wasn't her or anything, it was just...ever since sales had been declining at the Shack, he couldn't get the feeling that they were going to be in trouble out of his head. That sensation only grew when Mabel made friends with Princess and he almost felt sick just thinking about possibly having to give up the Mystery Shack or whatever. Something big was coming, and he didn't know how he knew that. All he wanted to do was board him, Mabel, and Grunkle Stan up inside the Shack and take cover before this storm hit.

 "Well, it's just - "

 "Hey, dorks!"

 A familiar voice cut through Dipper's sentence and the twins turned with smiles forming on their lips as they were pulled into a hug. "WENDY!"

 "It's been so long! Whoa, you both somehow got even _taller_?" The redhead pulled back, her hair in a loose side braid as she looked the twins over. "You're almost as tall as me now!"

 Dipper blushed a little as Mabel laughed. "I don't think we'll pass your height in ten years, Wendy. Although I am still taller than Dipstick over here! Hey-o!"

 Wendy ruffled the younger girl's hair, snorting. "Calling me a giant now, eh? You two look like little adventurers coming out of the woods - just dorkier." the last part was teasingly aimed at the boy.

 "Hey!" He playfully shoved her shoulder. "Look who's talking!"

 The ginger just smiled and shoved him back, although a bit harder than he had. It was clear that their friend had gained a fair bit of muscle while she was off at her cousin's logging camp for a couple of months.

 "So, are you going to introduce me to your new girlfriend, dude?" Dipper was momentarily puzzled until he realized Wendy had gone to kneel beside the golden retriever. Oh.

 "Yeah, right. She's a stray who knocked us down in the park a bit ago."

 "Her name's Princess!" Mabel cut in, a wide smile adorning her rosy cheeks. "You know, because she looks so regal and proper."

 Wendy nodded, examining said dog with a focused expression. "Definitely, Mabel. I approve. Doesn't look like she has a collar... What are you going to do with her for now?"

 "Head back to the Mystery Shack and put up Found posters later," Dipper told her. Wendy stood and Princess bolted off a little ways into the woods. Mabel's eyes widened in horror as she hurried after her newfound friend. "Princess! No, come back!"

 Dipper rolled his eyes and turned to the ginger. "She was talking to the dog the whole way here. I'm starting to think we should have left her there so that she wouldn't get attached."

 Wendy placed a hand on his shoulder. A smirk tugged at her lips as she towered a couple of inches over him. He couldn't help but recall a time when he was twelve and he had the biggest crush on her. At the memory, his ears colored slightly. "That's just Mabel, Dipper. I bet if you left her alone in a room full of wild animals, she would befriend them all in under fifteen minutes."

 "Ten," Dipper added with a smirk of his own. "So, were you heading to the Shack to see Stan or...?"

 She shook her head, letting go of the young man's shoulder. "Nope! Already went. I'm off to the diner, actually. I'm supposed to meet my dad there. By the way, I think Stan told me to tell you both to get your butts to the Shack before dinner."

 Dipper groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, we probably should get going. I suppose we'll see you around?"

 "Um, Dipper...?" Mabel's voice reached his ears. The mixture of urgency and anxiety caught his attention immediately. He exchanged a look of worry with Wendy before he headed toward his sister. "Yeah, I'm coming. Um, bye, Wendy."

 "See you later, dudes!"

 Dipper turned to his sister, who had stopped by a couple of trees where Princess had seemed to stop. "You okay? What's wrong? Did Princess do her busi-?"

 "Look at what she wrote."

 For a moment, he thought he heard his sister wrong. "Uh, sorry?"

 Mabel's hand grabbed his arm tightly and he looked over at her, startled to see her face pale as she stared at him. "Dipper, _look down_."

 Uncertainty and growing curiosity got the better of the man, and he obeyed. His brown eyes shot wide open in astonishment as he realized what was in front of Princess. A single word was written in the dirt, clear claw marks from where an animal had dragged their paw through each letter to make it more obvious to see.

  _D A N G E R_

 A sick feeling of dread filled Dipper's heart as he gawked at the word. Was this some sort of practical joke? He glanced at his twin sister but she was just staring at the golden retriever. Mixed awe and nervousness were blatant in her expression. He slowly removed her hand from his arm and took it in his own gently, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 "You sure it was her?" he murmured softly, trying not to feel like he should be hyperventilating. There had to be some sort of explanation for this, something much more logical than _the dog learned to write and apparently senses danger._

 Mabel turned to him in slight annoyance. "Are you suggesting that it was me? Because I went to grab her and then she started writing _this_! I thought she was trying to dig for bones or something but..." Her voice trailed off as she noted how Princess was staring at her expectantly.

 "Bark once."

 Dipper frowned and looked over, but before he could question her words, the dog barked loudly. He rolled his eyes.

 "Mabel, that doesn't prove - "

 "Bark twice."

 Princess obeyed, a steely look in the creature's eyes. Both of the Pines siblings stumbled back, startled and slowly becoming more nervous about the situation.

 "Th-That doesn't prove anything," Dipper stuttered out, running his free hand through his hair. "I mean, none of this makes _sense_ \- !"

 "Calm down, bro-bro," Mabel told him. She gave his hand a squeeze for extra reassurance.

 He inhaled sharply, waiting a minute before speaking. He lightly squeezed her hand back. "None of this makes sense. I told you we shouldn't have taken the dog with us. This has to be some sort of prank."

  _Had the dog just rolled her eyes at him?_

 "I don't think it is, Dipper. A stray dog randomly learns how to write and you want to write it off as a prank?" Her gaze was darting between her brother and Princess, dangerously serious. "What if she understands us? Maybe she's trying to help. Like a guardian angel."

 "The dog isn't a guardian angel."

 Mabel ignored him and looked back at the golden retriever. "Can you understand what we're saying?"

 Princess almost immediately moved her paws forward, clawing into the dirt to write - _holy shit, she's actually writing?!_ \- the word "yes". When she was done, the stray sat and looked up at them patiently.

  _Please tell me I've gone insane and didn't just see that._ Dipper breathed in deeply, hearing Mabel stifle a soft gasp beside him. She unconsciously gripped his hand tighter.

 Dipper momentarily pushed aside his suspicions and took a closer look at the first word the dog had written. What was that supposed to mean? What was Princess trying to tell them?

 "Danger... Who's in danger?" he asked, more towards himself than the dog. "Us? You?"

 Mabel's grip continued to grow tighter as Princess walked over to them, barking with urgency. The retriever looked back into the woods, growling for a second before turning back to them. The woman suddenly understood: there was something in the woods that she was trying to get them away from.

 "I think she's trying to tell us there's something out there," she whispered to Dipper, gesturing to the woods subtly. "We should head to the Shack."

 Dipper tried to peer through the trees but he saw nothing dangerous. Glancing between Princess and his sister, he swallowed a lump down in his throat. "Alright."

 As if to emphasis this, Princess latched onto Mabel's skirt with her teeth and started tugging her away from the woods. Mabel yelped and the twins managed to pry her off. The dog didn't seem too happy, growling slightly, but she did nothing else. Mabel let out a nervous giggle, straightening her skirt out. "Looks like  _someone's_ being a little more than friendly here, girl," she joked half-heartedly.

 Dipper grabbed Mabel's hand once more and eyed the retriever cautiously. "Let's get out of here before she decides to hurry us anymore."

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the 4th Kingdom..._

 

 The Troll King scowled when he spotted the King returning from the prison gates, meeting him outside. The King smirked when he caught sight of the disdain on the Troll's face. "In a month, I will have crushed the house of White. I will have Pacifica's castle and her kingdom. And for helping me to escape, you may have half of her kingdom in return."

 At this, Gideon's jaw dropped and he sputtered. " _Half?_ But the 4th Kingdom - it's enormous!"

 The King's smirk grew larger. Gideon narrowed his blue eyes and edged closer, crossing his arms over his chest. His children were still inside looking for the princess, which he hoped wouldn't take too long. He didn't want to have them get caught _again_. He had only _just_ broken them out of prison an hour or two ago.

 "What are you planning?" he demanded after a moment of silence. "And what do I have to do?"

 Now a wicked smile replaced the smirk, startling the Troll King more than he would ever admit. "Not much. Simply allow me the use of your children until they have captured the princess for me."

 The Troll King raised an eyebrow in surprise.

 "That's all?"

 The King thought for a moment before shaking his head. His expression grew dangerous, eyes glinting with hidden threats.

 "Oh, and of course, _you will tell no one what you have seen._ "

 His dark lowered tone made Gideon flinch ever-so-slightly. He nodded in agreement and the other relaxed, a small smirk reappearing on the man's face. The King headed to Pacifica's carriage, sighing inwardly at the sight of the dog-turned-princess scratching herself vigorously behind the ears inside. Yes, he would definitely have to teach the animal some manners if this plan was to go accordingly. He stepped up into the carriage, swatting the lookalike to get them to stop scratching, nodding at the servant who shut the carriage door and moved to ready the horses. Thank goodness he still had allies after all these years.

 Speaking of allies, he turned his gaze back to the Troll King, who had removed his golden shoes from inside his pack, placing them on the ground in front of them. He nearly snorted when the Troll glanced back at the prison, almost desperately. Even though he didn't show it outwardly, Gideon obviously held some care for his children. No matter how dreadfully unintelligent they were.

 "I will be in touch soon," the Evil King said, drawing Gideon's attention to him. "Return to your castle and inform me once your children return with the princess."

 The Troll's face settled on a scowl in mere moments. "Don't order me around! I am Gideon the Troll King, not some _peasant_!"

 It took all of his willpower not to snap back at the Troll. He plastered a false smile on his face.

 "Of course, your majesty. And I am grateful for your assistance. However, if those guards awaken, which they will soon - "

 "Yeah, yeah." Gideon rolled his eyes. "I'm not planning on staying. My children will come to me once they've gotten the dog."

 The Evil King relaxed into his seat and tapped the side of the carriage loudly, letting his servants know it was time to go.

 "Where will you go?" the Troll asked, genuinely curious. "There will be roadblocks all over once your escape is known. Every carriage will be searched."

 A soft chuckle left the man's throat as the carriage began to move. The dog-turned-princess looked around in confusion before giggling and sticking out her tongue, staring out the opposite window. "Not _all_ of them," he corrected the Troll King.

* * *

  _Not ten minutes prior..._

 

"Look at this!" Blabberwort called her siblings over as they emerged in a strange clearing in this new forest. On the path by them there were a few pieces of oddly shaped squares lying on the ground. Her brothers hurried over, weapons ready as she picked a couple of them up. They relaxed a little when they realized it seemed to be some sort of parchment with an advertisement written on it.

 "It says, ' _Want to be befuddled and bewildered beyond your wildest dreams? Then hop on down to the Mystery Shack, where the supernatural lurks behind every exhibit! Come to 618 Gopher Road._ '"

 Blue Bell frowned. "Do you suppose somebody dropped them here?"

 Burly shoved his brother a little, causing the latter to scowl now. "Who cares, you idiot?" He locked gazes with them both, a wide smile spreading across his face. "I think we know where we need to go now."

 All three Trolls exchanged looks of glee and hurried off to find a way out of the forest.

 

 Bill let out a low growl, searching his surroundings as he neared the edge of the forest. The two humans (siblings, he guessed by their scent) and the princess had gone this way not long ago. Yet he smelled something else, another scent, female. This one reminded him of firewood, smelling like a bonfire.

 Something in the dirt caught his eye, causing him to tilt his head in confusion. The Half Wolf crouched beside it, eyes growing large when he realized it was two words etched into the dirt. Claw marks were easily visible by the words ("yes" and "danger") and it wasn't difficult to guess who they belonged to. A snarl left his lips as he sniffed the earth, detecting that it was a few minutes old.

 The princess wasn't ignorant then. She had clearly communicated to the siblings and now he just needed to find them.

 Pity. He almost felt bad for them. Bill chuckled and began to stand up.

 "Hey, whatcha doing?" a grating female voice called out, making him tense up momentarily before he turned around. An older woman with a dirty apron on and a lazy eye was standing by the odd building behind him. He sniffed tentatively and his eyes nearly blew wide at the realization that they had _food_ there.

  _No, calm yourself! You have a duty! Find the dog, get her to the King, and then you can eat!_

 He plastered on the politest smile he could and subtly rubbed his foot through the two words in the dirt. "Hello! I'm just looking for my dog, I forgot to put a collar on her and now she's gotten lost."

 The woman smiled in sympathy. "Ah, I see! Ooh, I'll ask them inside and see if they saw anything!"

 However Bill had already known that the dog hadn't gone in that direction and gritted his teeth when she stuck her head back inside the diner. His nose twitched unconsciously at the scent of something meaty drifting from the building. _Control yourself, Cipher._

 Within a few minutes, the lady removed her head and another woman - much younger with long red hair and a strange hat - stepped out, frowning in confusion. "Wendy says she saw a golden retriever, was it yours?"

 Bill's blue eyes lit up and he smiled widely at the females. "Yes! That must be her! Do you know which direction she might have gone?"

 The redhead's brow furrowed further as she walked towards him. Even from this distance, he could smell firewood on her clothing. _Aha._ She must have been there when the siblings had walked this way with the princess.

 "Yeah, my friends were taking her to the Mystery Shack," the ginger was saying. "It's down on Gopher Road, you can't miss it."

 "Thank you so much!" Bill said, fighting the urge to smirk at how easily she was giving him information. "That's not far from here?"

 Wendy shook her head, stopping a few yards from the Half Wolf. "No, just a bit past the town. Say, are you new? A tourist? Because I don't think I've seen you here before..."

 Okay, she wasn't dumb then. He kept up his smile, pressing a hand to his chest. "Yes, I just moved here. I don't know my way around that well."

 She looked him over for a minute before smiling a little and closed the distance, holding out a hand to shake. "Cool, man. I'm Wendy Corduroy. If you need anything, I sometimes help out at the Shack. Dipper and Mabel headed up that way with your dog, they live there with their great-uncle."

 Bill smiled gleefully, not noting how her smile twitched ever-so-slightly. "Excellent! I'll be sure to pay them a visit!"

* * *

 Dipper rubbed his eyes as they stepped up to the Mystery Shack. "Mabel, you don't think Stan will be mad we brought a dog here, right?"

 Mabel turned to her brother, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "It'll be fine! We just need to convince him to let us keep the poor girl until we figure out what to do with her!" She dragged her twin inside the Shack, Princess following at their heels, and all three came to an abrupt stop.

 The Mystery Shack was unusually quiet. They could hear the TV blaring Ducktective from the living room, but not one sound from Grunkle Stan. The twins exchanged nervous looks, unease settling in their stomachs. Princess moved inconspicuously behind the counter, softly whining in warning. Mabel glanced over at the dog, swallowing hard when she noted the deep gashes in the wood on the counter. It almost looked like someone had taken an axe and driven it into the counter...

 "Grunkle Stan?" Mabel called, not too loud. Her voice wavered and Dipper instinctively moved in front of her, letting go of her hand.

 There was no response.

 "Do you still have that grappling hook?"

 "Yep."

 "We may need it."

 Mabel only nodded, reaching into her sweater pocket and gripping the weapon tight. She followed her twin through the Shack, biting her lip hard. Her eyes grew wide when they emerged cautiously in the living room, spying a familiar figure asleep in his armchair. "Grunkle Stan!"

 "Mabel!" Dipper hissed nervously, but she ignored him, rushing to the old man and shaking him. The young man groaned quietly and glanced at the TV. Why was it still on? Had Stan just fallen asleep with the TV on? It was entirely possible. Yet he couldn't deny the feeling in his gut that was yelling at him to grab his sister and run.

 "What's with this pink dust?"

 Dipper raised an eyebrow quizzically at his twin and she grabbed his arm, pulling him closer. It was then that he realized there indeed was a light layering of pink dust resting on the man's face and upper body. He rubbed some of it with his finger, examining it closely.

 "What is it, Dipper?" Mabel whispered, releasing his arm.

 "I don't know. Maybe it's some kind of chemical."

 "Why would it be pink?"

 Before Dipper could find an answer to that weird inquiry, a loud female voice caused their heads to snap to the stairway. "Hello, girlie and boy!" It took all of his willpower not to gawk with his mouth open. The person now heading towards them from the stairway was carrying several pairs of Mabel's shoes in her arms (which both of the siblings found extremely odd) but that wasn't what made Dipper feel at a loss for words. It seemed they were wearing a very realistic mask complete with a bulbous nose, untamed wild red hair, and wrinkled brown skin. She was entirely clad in a leather outfit that made his sister wrinkle her nose a little in distaste. It wasn't hard to spot the dagger attached at her hip, which instantly put them both on guard.

 The strange woman stopped a few feet in front of Dipper, who had made certain to place his twin between him and Grunkle Stan. He struggled not to gag as he inhaled a terrible stench that could only come from the person in front of him ( _it's as if mold and mustard had a child_ , he thought to himself).

 "These shoes have been very badly cared for!" the stranger declared, waving one of Mabel's black flats in his face. He felt his sister clutch his arm and hoped she was ready to use her grappling hook if necessary. "They've been scuffed - " At this remark, one of the pairs was tossed aside in disgust, " - cracked and neglected!" She dropped all of the shoes with a loud _thud_ and he could feel Mabel flinch behind him.

 Dipper wondered how this stranger would react if he told her they weren't his own, but didn't dare do so. From the sheer anger and disdain in her tone, he guessed that she had some sort of obsession with shoes. _What is this? Some sort of shoe heist?_

 "These are nice shoes!" came a deeper voice from their left. The twins jumped and turned to see two males with similarly distorted features and unruly hair walking away from the stairwell. They too were carrying his sister's shoes, although not quite as many as the woman had had. The taller one was holding up a pair of Mabel's only pink high heels, grinning wide. "And so tiny!"

 "We have hundreds of pairs at home," the female told them, jabbing a finger at Dipper's chest.

 "So, we know what we're talking about!" the shortest stranger piped up, flashing his yellow teeth at his sister who shuddered.

 This had to be, by far, the strangest situation the Pines twins had ever found themselves in. Cornered by crazy shoe lovers with strange masks on in their own home. Dipper swallowed hard when he noticed that they had dropped the shoes now and drawn a weapon each. The woman's dagger was only inches from his nose and he backed up, trying hard not to squash his sister against the armchair.

 "Who are you, why are you here, and what have you done to our great-uncle?" he demanded in what he hoped was a menacing tone.

 "Yeah, and why are you taking my shoes?" Mabel snapped, finally speaking up.

 The three were closing in towards them, backing the two siblings against the armchair where Stan slept. He noticed the shortest one reaching for the old man and shoved his hand away, gritting his teeth hard. "Don't touch him! Answer me!"

 "Oh, he's just sleeping. Hit him with a bit of Troll Dust, that's all!" the tall male said matter-of-factly, shrugging. "Should be up soon."

  _Troll Dust? What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ He slid his hand into Mabel's so she would stop clutching his arm so tightly and gave her a light squeeze as the back of his legs knocked against hers. He assumed this meant that they were as far as they could go against the armchair.

 "Troll Dust?" Mabel asked, sounding a little scared. "So...you're Trolls?"

 Dipper wanted to say, _M_ _abel, you know that Trolls don't exist. They're just crazy people._ However, judging by the large grins on their faces and the masks - oh god, _were_ those masks?! - he guessed that maybe her words weren't so far-fetched. After all, they did get to witness a golden retriever write words earlier.

 The tallest one stepped forward, bowing to them. "I am Burly the Troll, feared throughout the nine kingdoms."

 The woman raised her arm, giving a casual bow of her head to the twins as she said, "I am Blabberwort the Troll, dreaded throughout the nine kingdoms."

 "And I am Blue Bell the Troll," the short male declared, smirking, "terrified throughout the nine kingdoms!"

 Mabel and Dipper exchanged brief baffled looks, unsure what to say. _What do they mean by nine kingdoms? We're in Oregon, not some fantasy land._

 All of a sudden the tallest - didn't he say his name was Burly? - lunged past them both and shouted as he buried his axe within the TV screen. Mabel shrieked, gripping her twin's hand with inhuman strength as glass shattered and bits and pieces of the TV flew everywhere. Dipper's face quickly lost all color and he was suddenly grateful that Blue Bell hadn't attacked him when he had told him to leave Grunkle Stan be.

 The Trolls slowly advanced on the twins, their weapons raised a little higher in their hands. Dipper eyed the dagger very near to his face in Blabberwort's hands ( _god, what is with these weird names?_ ) and swallowed hard. He had to find a way out of this. Grunkle Stan was no help while asleep and while Mabel had her grappling hook, he highly doubted that it would do much good against these creatures. Especially considering the fact that one of them had just demolished their TV.

 "Where is she?" snapped Burly, a sneer set on his wrinkled face.

 "I - I don't know who you're talking about," Dipper stammered, wishing he didn't sound so panicked.

 "Princess Pacifica!" exclaimed Blabberwort, shaking her dagger in front of his face. He felt like he lost an eardrum from all their yelling at this point. Mabel pulled her brother back a little as the dagger grew dangerously close to cutting him across the cheek.

 "Who?" Mabel asked. She seemed genuinely interested and confused. She shrieked again when Burly surged forward and got up in her face. Dipper started towards him upon protective instinct, but Blue Bell gripped him by the shirt and yanked him back.

 "The dog!" Blabberwort shouted at her. The horribly close space between them let Dipper get a good whiff of her odor and he held in a gag. God, didn't they know what bathing was?! Even he knew to bathe regularly, thanks to his sibling's complaints while growing up.

 "The dog?" Mabel's voice quivered slightly, unease creeping in as she recalled a particular golden retriever hiding behind the shop counter in the Shack. They couldn't mean that dog, right? Princess was just a stray dog... Why did they call her Pacifica? Was that her actual name? She wasn't left anymore time to ponder this before the tallest Troll pushed her up against the armchair, leering in her face.

 "We're going to count to three, and then we're going to make you into a pair of shoes!"

  _Oh, man, just shut up about these damn shoes!_ both of the siblings thought in unison.

 "One! I will cut the shoes!" Burly removed a pair of very large sharp scissors and held them up against Mabel's neck, to which she glared at him and Dipper growled.

 "Two!" Dipper was thrown roughly back against the chair, his back bending awkwardly as he could practically hear Stan's snoring in his ears. "I will shave the shoes!" Blabberwort grabbed his arm, wrenching his hand out of Mabel's, and took out a thin blade, sliding it against his arm - though not hard enough to break skin. Goosebumps raced up his spine as he fought the urge to pull away. He had a feeling that while that blade was small, it would hurt like a bitch.

 Mabel looked around, her heart pounding in her ears. They were entirely cornered by these crazy Trolls, no way to escape (unless perhaps they tried to climb over Stan, but she didn't like that idea). Her gaze darted to the gift shop where they had been minutes ago and her eyes widened a little at the sight of Princess sticking her head slowly into the room. She remembered how the Trolls had described the dog as if she were an actual princess and chewed her lip. That certainly explained how she was able to understand them. But did that mean she had been human once or something?

 Making a split-second decision, the brunette subtly pointed her head in the direction of the kitchen. The dog paused before hurrying as quietly as possible that way.

 "Three!" the shortest Troll, Blue Bell (which would have been kind of a cute name, if it didn't belong to a dreadfully smelly Troll) cried, holding a very short blade up to her brother's face. Judging by the way he was gritting his teeth, Dipper's back was aching from the angle he was being pushed into the armchair. "I will stick - !"

 "Alright, alright!" Mabel exclaimed, fighting the urge to flinch when all three Trolls and her twin brother's heads snapped toward her in shock. "I'll tell you where she is!" Right as she said that, she spotted Princess' head stick out of the kitchen, tensed and looking confused. She looked away and tried to think of a way out of this.

 "Uh, she's in the gift shop, that way." She gestured towards where they had entered from, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood out of nervousness.

 Princess immediately hurried back into the kitchen and Burly grabbed her by both of the forearms, pulling her away from Stan's armchair. She barely took note of Dipper snapping at the Troll to leave her alone before the trio dragged them all into the gift shop none-too-gently. Mabel winced at the fingernails digging into her forearms and glanced at Dipper, whose arms were being held by a Troll each. He sent her a worried look to which she only gave him a small reassuring smile before Burly's voice brought her back to the dilemma at hand.

 "I don't see her anywhere! You had better not be lying, girlie." She leaned away from his head, nearly choking on the god-awful stench of his breath.

 "N-No! She's just hiding, you know? She, um..." Mabel glanced over at the vending machine and her eyes widened. She suddenly recalled an incident when she and Dipper were twelve and they discovered that Grunkle Stan had a secret lab behind the vending machine (which he insisted to this day had been there since the Shack had been built, and that was that). She sucked in a deep breath as an actual idea formed in her head.

 "She's behind that machine! I'll show you!"

 Dipper's brown eyes grew as large as golf balls as the twins were tugged over to the vending machine. "Mabel!" he hissed. "What are you doing?"

 She chose to ignore her twin, plastering a smile on her face as they faced the machine. Burly cautiously let go of one of her forearms so she could type in the code, eyeing her suspiciously. Mabel could feel her heart pounding incessantly inside her chest. _Come on, Mabel. You can do this!_

 The vending machine swung open, almost hitting her in the face before the Troll tugged her back, mostly out of shock. The passage behind it was clear for everyone in the gift shop to see now.

 "That corridor was not there before!" Blabberwort said, her grip loosening on Dipper's arm as she stared in amazement.

 "You two are crafty," Burly hissed at Mabel, who did her best not to react to his statement.

 The Trolls ushered them all inside down the passage, squinting in the darkness. Mabel took this opportunity to slip out of Burly's grip as he felt along the walls to guide him down.

 "Wait, I can't see anything!" Blue Bell hollered unnecessarily loud. She caught a glimpse of her brother slowly edging out of the Troll's grasp and saw him glare at Blabberwort (not that she noticed, she was too busy trying to see through the dark too) as she clutched his arm tighter.

 "Is the dog down here?" Blabberwort snapped, whipping her head around in confusion.

 "Just a little farther," Mabel called out, sneaking over to where her twin was. He instantly spotted her and they managed to pry the female's hand off his arm.

 Unfortunately, Blabberwort wasn't stupid and she turned to grab them both. Dipper pushed Mabel ahead of him and they bolted for the exit. They could hear the Trolls yelling behind them but neither dared turn around. Mabel slammed the vending machine door shut once they were on the other side and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

 "Do you think they'll be able to figure out how to leave?" Mabel asked her brother nervously as they heard the faint sounds of Trolls arguing behind the hidden door.

 "Probably not. If they do, hopefully we're all as far from here as possible. But just in case..." Dipper rushed over to where some of the larger oddities, like a gigantic Aztec wheel, and rolled them in front of the vending machine with his sister's help. While they were doing so, Princess came running out of the kitchen, seeming surprised to see them okay.

 The moment the gift shop barricade was in place, Dipper pulled Mabel into a hug. "Also, what were you thinking?! Don't ever do that again!"

 Mabel rolled her eyes. "Thank you is the proper words you're looking for, dummy. I had a plan! Nobody messes with the Pines family!"

 Her brother sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "Well, those... _things_ were insane. They could have killed you in an instant! Next time _please_ be more careful."

 "Why do you assume there will be a next time?"

 Dipper glanced at Princess, a hard look settling over his face. "Because judging by what they said about this dog, I'm guessing other people will be looking for us. We have to get out of here, quick."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It just occurred to me that this doesn't show up in the Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines tag or in the Gravity Falls tag...? I don't know why, but that's more than a little bit annoying. Ugh. Anyway, I hope you are enjoying The Art of Delusion so far!


	3. Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, in which Dipper has personal space issues and magic beans are not what they seem.

_Baby, I'm preying on you tonight,_  
_Hunt you down, eat you alive,_  
 _Just like animals, animals,_  
 _Like animals..._

* * *

  They left a note with Grunkle Stan after making certain that the vending machine was secured - they couldn't hear much from the other side of the door now, which they prayed was a good sign - and headed off to the next safest place they could think of in town. The twins felt a bit guilty about leaving Grunkle Stan behind, but as Dipper reasoned, they wouldn't be able to take him with them anyway and the Trolls were trapped for now. It had taken a few minutes to convince her but soon Mabel gave in and they hurried out of the Mystery Shack with Princess at their heels.

 Dipper glanced over at Princess, his hand entwined with his sister's. He refused to let go just yet until he knew they were safe from those Trolls. If that was really what they were...

 He'd always been intrigued by the supernatural and magic, more than a little disappointed when Gravity Falls didn't live up to its rumors of having dragons and fairies running amok. Of course, it was nice to imagine what it could have been like to walk into the forest and encounter a werewolf - but the reality was that this was real life. This wasn't some fantasy town. Magic didn't really exist and nothing extraordinary lurked in the forests.

 But then they had run into this golden retriever who could understand them and write in English and was being chased by those _Trolls_...

 The brunette sighed heavily and ran his free hand through his hair. Maybe this was just some bad dream and he had yet to wake up from it. Trolls and magical dogs - none of this was real, right?

 "Dipper?" he glanced over at his sister, who was watching the dog beside them with an unreadable expression.

 "Yeah?"

 "D-Do you think that she's not really a dog at all?"

 Princess looked at them for a second before turning away. It was clear she understood they were talking about her. Dipper swallowed hard.

 "I don't know. I mean, those things back at the Shack could have just been people with really great prosthetic make-up."

 Mabel elbowed him gently in the side. Her expression was uncharacteristically serious which was a rare occurrence. "They smelled worse than you did when you forgot to shower for a week when we were fourteen, Dip. I don't think anyone in town is that good of a make-up artist either."

 "Well, if they really were, um, _Trolls_...then why were they in the Shack? How come nothing else magical has appeared until now?"

 She shrugged. "They said they were looking for Princess so maybe whatever brought her here brought them here too?"

 "You make it sound like they're from some other realm," Dipper said uneasily. The twins glanced at the dog, noting how she remained silent on the matter.

 "Maybe they are. Anything's possible, bro-bro."

 He sighed and released her hand, leading her and Princess up to the door of their destination. "Magic isn't actually real though, Mabel. Why would all of this be happening if it suddenly just decided to exist today?"

 Before she could respond, he had already knocked on the door and it opened, revealing an old woman with large grey hair. She was in her nightgown, eyes growing wider at the sight of the visitors.

 "What are you doing here?" she asked. "If you are looking for Soos, he is not here - "

 "We know," Dipper said quickly. "We just...we need someplace to stay for tonight. Is that okay, Abuelita?"

 Their friend Soos had recently heard that his wife Melody was having her baby and rushed off to Portland where she was visiting family to be with her. They hadn't heard anything about it since he had left two days ago, assuming that everything was okay. When they were younger, the twins had come over to Soos' grandmother's house to play video games with him so they knew Abuelita well. If those Trolls were looking for them, they probably wouldn't expect to find them in an old woman's home.

 The older woman looked them over, eyes narrowing as she took in their appearances. Her gaze settled on the dog and she frowned. "Where did the dog come from?"

 "She's a stray. We found her earlier and we were planning on putting up lost and found posters in the morning," Mabel explained. She reached down and caressed the animal gently, giving Abuelita her most winning smile.

 Abuelita glanced between the three of them. She seemed to be judging what to do. Dipper's shoulders slumped and he smiled weakly at the woman, hoping he looked pitiful enough for her to give in.

 "Only for one night, yes. You may stay."

 Mabel cheered, startling Princess, and embraced Abuelita. "Oh, you're the best! Don't worry! We'll just be here for tonight, I promise!"

 Abuelita raised an eyebrow at Dipper over his sister's shoulder and he winced, smile turning sheepish. It was clear that she was saying, _This is a one time thing, only because you are Soos' friends._ He made a mental note to send her some sort of thank-you gift once they got this whole mess figured out.

* * *

 "Ugh..." Stanley Pines rubbed his temples, squinting in confusion when he caught sight of the pink fine dust on his torso. "What the hell...? Was I drugged?" The last thing he recalled was falling asleep watching _The Duchess Approves_ (which he totally hadn't been getting into, nope). He ran a hand over his face, shaking the pink dust off his wifebeater the best he could.

 Were the kids home yet? He glanced around and his jaw dropped. _What had happened to the TV?!_ Why was it in pieces? And were those faint yells he heard coming from the gift shop?

 He was getting too old for this.

 Stan stood, groaning at the creaks and aches in his aging body. This was going to cost more than he usually paid for groceries.

 Without warning, the sound of the gift shop door opening grabbed his attention and his eyes narrowed when a blond man with a black coat and an obnoxiously bright yellow shirt popped into view, looking around the Mystery Shack for a moment. "Trolls have been here... Oh! Looks like they'll be here for a while, actually!" He chuckled, his high-pitched voice already getting on the old man's nerves. "Looks like _someone's_ been busy..."

 "Hey, look, get out of here!" He started towards the stranger, reaching for his brass knuckles in his pocket before he remembered that he was wearing his boxers. Dammit. "If you're trying to sell me something or - !"

 The blond's head snapped back towards him and an almost inhumane grin stretched across his face as he stepped closer. "Hello, sir! My humblest apologies for barging in after hours," he said as he bowed, his eyes never leaving Stan's face. An uneasy feeling stirred in the old man's gut. "I'm here to ask for an _exchange_ of sorts!"

 "Look, I don't know if that's some code word you kids use for 'selling stuff' these days, but I'm not interested!" Stan stared down the man, daring him to argue. Ugh, his head was still aching from whatever that pink dust had done.

 "No, you mistake me for a common salesman!" The stranger moved closer and drew a small black box from within his coat, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. "See, I am asking for information regarding the whereabouts of your great-nephew and great-niece, and in exchange I will give _you_ \- " the blond opened the lid of the box with a flourish, holding it out so Stan could see it better, " - this magic bean! Once eaten, it will allow you to make six glorious wishes!"

  _Is this guy on drugs? Does he seriously think I'm going to believe this bull?_ Stan rolled his eyes and looked into the box, a little startled when he spotted the a black bean the size of a quarter jumping about inside the box. _What even - ?_ He faintly took notice of a faint stream of green vapor rising from the bean to slip into his nose. He blinked and shook his head, finding himself unable to look away from the hopping object. Why did he feel so drawn to this little thing? Was this some sort of illusion?

 Before he could reach for the box to examine it further, the lid slammed shut and he shook himself, feeling annoyed at how he had been dragged in by that probably-drugged bean. For all he knew, this was some kind of trick that was supposed to kill him. He had to be sharper than that.

 The blond opened his mouth, ready to speak and explain the bean further, but then he shut it quickly with a small tilt of his head. He seemed to be staring at something past Stan. He shoved the box into his coat pocket and edged past the man in his boxers, heading to a shelf near the TV where a few pictures sat. Stan watched in confusion and was about to demand that he leave but the stranger snatched a smaller picture from the shelf and made an odd growling sound in his throat.

 "Is this him?" He was strangely quiet considering how loud his high voice had been before. It was more than a little unnerving. "It can't be..."

 "What the hell are you going on about?" Stan inquired hesitantly, edging towards him. "And put that ba-!"

 "The boy! He's... _succulent!_ Brilliant!" The older man didn't like the tone he was using to describe Dipper, nor did he have a good feeling about the flash of gold he could have sworn he spied in the intruder's eyes. He looked like a starving animal gazing at his prey and Stan knew there was something very wrong with this man. "Utterly delicious! No wonder he smelled so good! Ha!" The man suddenly titled his head away from the elder and a wolf-like howl ripped itself from his mouth, startling Stan into walking a few steps back. _What the hell?_

 The blond's head whipped back toward Stan, a wicked grin on his face, eyes gleaming with hunger. "Tasty or _what_? Am I right?!"

  _He has to be crazy_ , the other decided, glancing at where the phone was in the kitchen. If only he could sneak in there or maybe nail this guy on the back of the head with a fist...

* * *

 Burly, Blabberwort and Blue Bell, meanwhile, were not at all pleased with their current situation. They all pounded on the walls of the space they’ve been trapped in by those two - who they were certain by now had to be a wizard and a witch. How else would they be able to trap the Trolls here?

 Burly threw himself against the wall, trying to find some way out since they were unable to find that magic door. Nothing happened.

 Blabberwort slunk against the wall and groaned, grabbing her siblings' attention.

 “I’ve been thinking back over the years, and I feel this is quite the  _worst_  spell we have  _ever been put under!_ ” Blabberwort shouted and proceeded to bang her fist once and loudly against the wall.

 “We’ve had some stinkers but nothing like _this,”_ Burly remarked, looking around the small room. He was more than a little irritated at being delayed in their quest to find the dog. “They're a powerful witch and wizard, those two.” Burly crossed the tunnel with a low growl.

 Blue Bell froze with a look of epiphany on his face.

 “I think...we might be in her pocket!” Blue Bell hissed, looking at his brother and sister - well, from where he assumed they were in the dark.

 Blabberwort frowned and edged a bit closer to him. Burly, on the other hand, frowned and narrowed his eyes.

 “What?”

 Blue Bell held up a hand and looked around, his eyes narrowed in deep concentration. “I think they both shrunk us, and put us in a match box - ” At this, Blue Bell looked up towards the ceiling, and the other two leaned in closer to where they guessed their brother was standing, “ - in that witch's pocket.” Blue Bell finished in a darker tone.

 Both of his siblings gazed around them with a mixture of awe and wonder for a moment before Burly turned back to Blue Bell.

 “That’s _ridiculous!_ ” Burly snapped in frustration. He stared at his brother in disbelief. “You’re falling to pieces! Get a grip of yourself! How can we be in a  _match box_  you idiot?!” Burly growled. Blue Bell gave at him a look of clear irritation. Burly stretched out his arms and gestured to the darkness around them, not that the others could see him do so. “Where are all the  _matches?!_ ”

* * *

 Stan was seriously growing unnerved by this stranger in his house. He had been staring hungrily at the picture (which, as he got closer, he saw was a photo of the twins hanging out at the beach not three months ago) for a full two minutes and was contemplating bashing the guy in the noggin when the blond pocketed the picture and smiled at him. "Sorry about that! Just the old animal instinct, you know?"

 Yes, he was definitely not liking this guy.

 "Look, who even are you?" Stan snapped, subtly clenching a fist at his side just in case. "Why do you care about these kids? Are you some ex of Mabel's?"

 The blond snickered and sidestepped the old man, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "Whoa, relax, tough guy! The name's Bill Cipher and I just want to know the whereabouts of your great-nephew and great-niece because a nice young lady told me they found my dog. That's it!"

 Stan frowned as the man - _Bill,_ he reminded himself - withdrew the box with the black bean from his coat once more and opened it near his face. He held out a hand to the elder, raising an eyebrow, and Stan tentatively let the blond grab his hand to place the bean in it. His eyes widened as the object continued to jump about in his palm, green vapor faintly steaming off of it. There was no way this thing was real. This had to be a hallucination or _something._ It simply didn't make sense.

 "Why does it do that?" he muttered quietly.

 "Six wishes!" Bill exclaimed, his blue eyes gleaming with hidden mischief. "Imagine...anything and _everything you desire._ All that could be yours. _Can_ be yours."

 Why did it feel like the bean was drawing him in? Stan squinted as the bean flopped past his thumb, smooth to the touch. What was causing this thing to move? Why did he feel so compelled to accept the offer? Sure, a magic wish-giving bean - _six fucking wishes, holy crap!_ \- was amazing to think about but... He glanced up and spotted a flash of smug victory in the blond's face.

  _Dipper. Mabel._ He couldn't leave them with this maniac.

 Shaking his head, Stan shoved the bean back at Bill who seemed slightly startled and shouted, "Look, just get out of my house before I call the cops on you, smart guy!"

 Bill actually growled in response and he glanced back down at the bean still in his palm. Using his free hand he waved his fingers in the other's face, rolling his eyes as he spoke. "I mean, this has to be joke! Magic beans? Six wishes? Please, I could do better than that."

 Bill started to pace, his eyes narrowing as he grew angrier and louder with each word. "No, no!! This a standard multiple wishes contract! Six wishes! No going back on wishes once professed, and no making five wishes and then wishing for another thousand!" He gestured toward Stan as he drew nearer, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "Now judging by the state of that mess over there," he pointed at the demolished TV to which the old man scowled at, "I'm sure that what I want in exchange is fairly modest compared to what _you_ could achieve with that magic trinket, eh?"

  _Oh, right. His dog._ Stan studied the strange man's face, annoyed when he realized the blond seemed to be telling the truth. However this guy was a total stranger and if he accidentally gave the twins' possible whereabouts to some crazed stalker...

 "You only want to find your dog?"

 Bill nodded quickly, eyes lighting up. "Oh, yes! She ran off earlier and a nice woman with red hair told me you might know where they are?"

  _Red hair? Oh, it must have been Wendy._ While this thought was only a little reassuring, he still felt uneasy.

 As if sensing his hesitance, the blond added casually, "There's even a reward involved which I intend to give them personally."

 A reward? His ears perked up and he eyed the man as he judged what the right thing to do was. He didn't appear to be lying, and Stan himself was a con man so he would definitely have picked up _something_ if this guy was a creeper. Although that stunt with Dipper's picture hadn't been the most reassuring thing to convince him to tell this man anything.

 He sighed and frowned when he found a piece of messily folded paper sticking out of the side of his boxers. Raising an eyebrow, both men watched as Stan pulled it out with his free hand, clenching the "magic" bean tightly in a fist as he unfolded it and read it hurriedly.

  _Grunkle Stan,_

 _Sorry but Mabel and I won't be joining you for dinner. There are three...um,_ things _behind the vending machine door so please don't open it unless you're a safe distance away. (Believe me, you'll thank us if you are) We're sorry about leaving you in the chair but we couldn't wake you so we'll be at Soos' grandmother's place if you need us. We should be home tomorrow to help deal with this and hopefully give you a better explanation._

_Dipper and Mabel._

 Oh. So that was where they were. But what did they mean about the _things_ behind the vending machine door...?

 "Is that from them?" Bill's curious tone jolted him out of his thoughts and he crumpled the paper in his free hand, uncurling the one holding the bean.

  _I'm sorry, kids. Hopefully I'm right about this lunatic._

 "Yeah. They're staying at an old friend's grandmother's house."

 Bill grinned in glee. "Does this grandmother like flowers?"

 Stan snorted. "I don't know, maybe. She's a nice woman but she's not afraid to call you out so don't try anything stupid, got it? She's smarter than most women her age."

 At that the blond chuckled and he tapped his chin, putting the empty box inside his coat again. "Address?"

 "Um, right..." Stan looked away, eyes locking with the mirthful ones of the twins in a picture from a day when he had taken them out fishing. Was he really doing the right thing here? He cautiously relayed the address and by the time he had turned back to Bill, the strange man was beaming from ear to ear. He nodded, as if making sure that he remembered the information verbally told to him, and bowed his head briefly.

 "It has been a pleasure!"

 He stood and made his way towards the gift shop. The older man glanced between the jumping bean in his left hand and the blond's retreating figure.

 "Wait, whoa, wait!" Bill spun around on his heels, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. His hand was on the gift shop's door and it was clear that he was itching to run.

 "So, what? I just eat this? How long does it take to work?"

 A low chuckle left the stranger's lips. He could have sworn a flash of something much darker glinted in Bill's eyes but it might have been a trick of the light.

 "Oh, _don't worry._ The first three hours...are the worst."

 Stan's eyes narrowed but before he could protest the blond was already out the door and gone. He grimaced and looked back down at the magic bean in his hand.

  _Am I seriously considering this? He has to be crazy, this has to be some sort of drugged bean._

 The old man shut his eyes and rubbed his nose with his free hand. "Sometimes a man has to suck it up," he mumbled to himself. He could have sworn he heard faint yelling from the vending machine ( _what on earth had those kids put behind that thing?_ ).

 With a deep breath, he popped the rather big bean into his mouth, shaking his head in discomfort as it tried to force itself down his throat. He waited for it to go down a bit before clearing his throat, feeling a little dumb. Right. Six wishes. Bring it on.

 "For my first wish - " Stan groaned, cutting himself off and doubling over as a searing pain filled his stomach. Ugh, what _was_ that? He attempted to continue speaking, "My first wish - " Again, he stopped and gripped his stomach as the pain grew worse. It felt like he was being fried from the inside out. _I knew I shouldn't have trusted that little fucker, I_ knew it!

 "Ah, _shit!_ "

 Stan stumbled toward the bathroom as bile rose in his throat, feeling like he had just made an awful mistake.

* * *

 Pacifica watched with careful gaze as the twins meandered around the old woman's house, thanking her various times for her hospitality and occasionally glancing back at the dog. She knew they could tell something was off about her and was more than a little relieved that they weren't stupid. She had been shocked by the way that they had managed to outwit the Trolls. For a moment there, she had worried that they were going to give her position away - but Mabel seemed to have thought up a plan rather quickly instead of doing what she had feared.

 Their home on the other hand (it looked more like a hovel, which was more than little disgusting) now housed three Trolls and that old man they had left behind. She couldn't help but worry about what would happen when the creatures escaped. They weren't the brightest but there was still a large chance that they could find her even in this small village. Not to mention the blatant fact that they outnumbered her and the twins strength-wise.

 The princess-turned-dog sighed to herself as she followed Mabel and Dipper to where a ladder came down from the ceiling. Apparently they were going to be sleeping in a dusty old attic tonight since the only other room was their friend's and still needed to be cleaned out. She couldn't help but imagine what her parents might say if they found her like this: cursed to live on four legs and sleeping with poverty for the night.

 Despite the gravity of the situation, she almost felt like snickering. They'd probably have a conniption.

 Pacifica allowed the twins to help her up the ladder, fully aware that with her bulk and extra legs she wouldn't be able to get down easily. She wrinkled her nose as the pungent odor of something long dead reached her. Wonderful. She backed away as Mabel pulled herself up into the attic, soon followed by her twin brother.

 For some reason, Mabel actually smiled. "This isn't so bad! It doesn't have that creepy 'I'm a demon and I'm haunting your house' vibe!"

 Dipper rolled his eyes although the smile on his face contradicted the action. "Of course you'd find something positive about this situation."

 "Just because you live with a rain cloud over your head doesn't mean you can't be optimistic, Dipdop," the girl reprimanded, pushing his shoulder playfully. She threw her arms out as her brother searched for pillows and blankets. "We're alive, Soos' grandmother is letting us stay here out of the goodness in her heart, and Grunkle Stan knows where we are in case he needs us! Overall, this day hasn't been that bad. It's kind of fun, actually!"

 Dipper snorted, tossing a pillow towards his sister. Pacifica could easily detect the sarcasm in his tone, having used it quite often in her life.

 " _Fun_ _?_ "

 Mabel nodded with a smile. "Yeah! It kind of reminds me when we were kids and used to pretend we were battling goblins. Oh! And when we had to 'rescue' that talking cat from an evil warlock! Those were good times."

 Her brother made a soft noncommittal noise before turning around to face her. Something flickered in his gaze as he handed her a thick blanket.

 "It's like we're on a secret quest and we're just staying the night - right before we have to go slay a dragon!"

 "No one's slaying dragons."

 Now the brunette's smile wavered. Pacifica looked between the twins as she settled herself on a blanket that had fallen to the ground. It wasn't the most comfortable, itching a little, but it would have to do for this one night.

 "What's up with you? Are you being moody again?"

 Dipper ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. His eyes were hard as he met his sister's stare. "Mabel, this isn't some kind of adventure. This is a very real - and not mention _very strange_ \- mess that we have to deal with, and god knows if Stan is even okay right now. There are _Trolls_ stuck behind our vending machine!" He walked over to the trapdoor on the floor of the attic, shutting it loudly. "Heck, we don't even know if Princess is an actual dog! It's like we've been yanked into an entirely different lifestyle and it's just - !" A small strangled sound left his throat as he squeezed his eyes shut, opening them as he ran a hand through his hair. "I just feel like you're not taking this seriously, I'm sorry."

 There was a few moments of silence as the dog watched their expressions. She half-expected the young woman to snap right back at her twin for being paranoid but no such thing occurred. Dipper looked away, sighing softly.

 Mabel edged nearer to Dipper, resting her hands on his shoulders with an oddly determined face set in place. At the contact, his brown eyes darted back to his sister's face.

 "Dipper, I am taking this seriously. We can't spend all our time worrying, though. You have to see things a little more positively. After all, wasn't this what you always complained to me about? Gravity Falls not being magical or filled with supernatural oddities?"

 "Well, hey - "

 A quick look shut the young man up.

 "Don't lie. I know some small part of you is enjoying the thrill of this. But you need to calm down a little. We managed to trick a group of Trolls, Dipper! Do you know how cool that was? We've found a possibly magical dog!" She gestured towards Pacifica, smiling broadly. "This is amazing! All of this happened to _us_ , Dipper! Of all the crazy people in Gravity Falls, it happened to _us_!"

 The man smiled faintly when she engulfed him in an embrace, not hesitating to wrap his arms around her back. It was like second nature.

 "I mean, it is kind of cool..." Mabel's eyes lit up and she laughed.

 "See? What did I tell you? Everything's going to be okay, bro-bro!"

 Dipper gave her a fond look, ruffling her hair playfully and causing her to laugh. "Alright. I believe you."

 "There! Now let's get ready for bed. We've got a big day to plan tomorrow!"

* * *

 The worst part about the situation was the fact that although he had felt like vomiting, nothing had come out. Stan ended up dry heaving over the toilet for three hours on his knees, gripping the sides with vigor every time the searing pain in his gut increased. He just knew he had been drugged, eating that bean was an awful mistake on his behalf. Why had that thing seemed so appealing anyway? It had been emitting green smoke for god's sake!

 He left the bathroom, his hand rubbing his temples as he grimaced at the sweat stains on his wifebeater. _Excellent job, Stan. You've managed to sink lower than anything you've done before. This had to have been the dumbest thing you've ever done._

  _Well,_ second _dumbest thing,_ he thought to himself as a sudden wave of sadness and old buried memories swept over him.

 Stan sighed and scratched his head, massaging his aching stomach with the other hand. Had he honestly just given a stranger the whereabouts of Dipper and Mabel because of a "magic" bean? Why had he wanted their location again? Something about losing his dog... His memory was a little off and he shook his head.

 It didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that he now had to deal with whatever drugs were in his system and Dipper was probably going to berate him for trusting the guy long enough to swallow the damn thing.

  _It's not like it'd be difficult to track down the kid if he doesn't leave Gravity Falls._ He entertained the idea of catching that man - _Bill Cipher_ , he remembered as his mind caught up with him - and a small smirk graced his lips. Yeah, that conman would be sorry if he ever met Stan Pines again. He chuckled before wincing at how it made his stomach ache more, sitting down in his armchair as gently as he could.

 Hopefully the kids would be back from Soos' grandmother's tomorrow morning and then they could explain what had happened. Stan still felt a little irritated by the fact that he had been knocked out somehow. He could only recall watching TV and then something pink filling his vision before sleep overtook him. He frowned and grumbled under his breath, picking up his half-finished Pitt Cola can off the floor. It probably wasn't good anymore but he didn't care.

 Warm soda was better than no soda.

 He chuckled hollowly. "Well, this is definitely the life, isn't it? Declining business, being knocked out, drugged and tricked into deals with blond strangers... You've really fallen from your peak, Stan."

 A sigh bubbled against his lips and he exhaled it, exhaustion slowly creeping up on him. "Ugh. And now I've begun talking to myself in third person."

 Negative thoughts pressed in his head, inching past the barriers he had put up to keep them out. With the sales in the Mystery Shack declining and tourists coming in for tours less and less, it was growing hard to think of the fact that he was most likely going to have to make a choice between closing the Shack or finding a new way to keep tourism up. He swallowed another gulp of soda and leaned his head back in the chair. He imagined the twins' faces if they ran out of income and winced. Dipper had promised him he was going to find a way to help get the visitors to keep coming but so far the man hadn't succeeded just yet. That very day Stan had only encountered about three groups of tourists before having to close up early.

 "I just wish..." The old man snorted, rolling his eyes. "I wish that there was loads more attendance at this old Shack. We definitely need it."

 As soon as he spoke this, green vapor escaped his lips and encircled his head, causing him to jump. _What the hell?_ He frowned as it vanished and wondered what that was all about.

 Without any warning the door to the gift shop opened and Stan practically shot out of the armchair, groaning as his stomach and back throbbed. He hurried as fast as he could to the gift shop, remembering all too well what had happened the last time he had gotten a surprise visitor after hours. "Hey, the Shack's closed! It's - " he checked his watch and groaned, " - it's like ten at night! Beat it!"

 "Oh, no, did we miss the tour?" Stan froze as he took in the sight of a family of four, fully dressed for summer vacation with cameras ready. The perky red-haired woman, probably the mother, was smiling as if she had just entered Disney World. "We've been driving for hours from Arizona just to see it!"

 "Really?" He raised an eyebrow in mixed confusion and surprise. Nobody had ever cared that much to drive here solely for the Mystery Shack.

 Something nagged at him, telling him this was no coincidence. He narrowed his eyes as the two children (two ginger-haired boys who seemed very interested in one of the displays by the counter.

  _I wish that there was loads more attendance at this old Shack._

 No, that couldn't have worked. He was just overthinking this. Stan shook his head and waved it off.

 He might as well just do the tour now that they were here. After all, it was just one tour and then he could sleep and forget about this crazy day.

 "Alright, well, let me just change, folks. Then we'll head into a _world of mystery..._ "

* * *

 It had taken a trip to the nicest clothing store he could find (people in this new land had such odd tastes in outfits and color schemes) but it was definitely worth it to be able to feel fresher in his new black jacket, crisp yellow shirt, and black trousers. Bill grinned to himself as he looked over himself in the nearest window. He had managed to find a knife to hack away some of his shaggy hair and now it was short, much neater than before. After all, he couldn't look like he had just escaped prison and chased a pesky dog here. The only reason why he had waited until morning before going to the grandmother's house was because of how late it was.

 Plus, it had given the Half Wolf time to grab some nice flowers (what lady didn't love flowers?) to help the situation along just in case.

 He ran a hand quickly through his hair one last time, a wolfish grin stretching across his face. He hurried up to the door of the house, knocking in quick succession as he readied the flowers behind his back.

 He could hear slow footsteps heading toward the door. It was most likely the old woman who lived here. He grinned wider before remembering that he was supposed to _not_ scare her, and lessened it to a more humane gentle grin. There. That was much better. Wouldn't want to frighten the old lady before he even came in, now would he?

 The door swung open a few inches and Bill took in the sight of the woman in a single glimpse. Her grey hair was still in curlers and she was already starting to raise an eyebrow, wrinkled skin shifting. She smelled vaguely of something similar to apples. The Half Wolf tried not to let his mouth water at the idea.

 "Oh!" Bill pretended to look startled by her and hesitated for only a moment before saying, "I'm so sorry but I was looking for my friend's grandmother!" He began to turn away, a smirk tugging at his lips when his face was out of sight.

 "You are a friend of Soos?" the old woman asked, seeming surprised. "Or do you mean the Pines - ?"

 He could only assume she meant the twins. He beamed and turned around quickly. "Yes! I was looking for them, and their great-uncle told me they were staying the night here! Are you the grandmother he was speaking of?" The blond shook his head, faking awe. "But I had assumed you were his mother perhaps, Soos'!" Whoever this "Soos" was, he appeared to be her actual grandchild. Hopefully he wasn't home or else this could get difficult.

 The woman eyed him. "Flattery won't get you anywhere." Bill's smile only twitched slightly at that. The old man hadn't been kidding when he said she was smart. "How do you know the Pines? Stan sent you?"

 Quick as a whip, he conjured up a lie, reaching into his pocket while he revealed the flowers behind his back with a flourish. Never once did his smile falter. "Why, I thought he told you! Well, I suppose it is rather new, only happened a few days ago... I am - " he withdrew the framed photo he had stolen from the Mystery Shack, smiling as softly as he could, " - Dipper's suitor. His _betrothed_."

 To emphasize this, the Half Wolf planted a kiss on the man's face, spotting the grandmother's eyebrows raise to impossible heights on her face. It was a rather bad lie but the old woman seemed to be believing it. Although it didn't take much on his part to act like he cared about the man. After all, he was more than a little curious to see what he looked like considering how _delectable_ he smelled. And he could definitely smell both siblings and the dog, who he guessed were up in the attic of this house sleeping.

 "I didn't know the boy was engaged," she muttered almost inaudibly. Her voice was very quiet and he had to lean a little closer to hear her. "Or that he was gay... Well, it's not like Soos would have said anything about it."

 "May I come in?" Bill prompted, pressing closer (though not uncomfortably so) and peering into the house. "I brought flowers for him." He'd originally gone to give it to the woman but something told him that probably wasn't the best idea. Buying flowers for his "lover" seemed much more plausible than buying them for some wrinkled hag he didn't know.

 The woman hesitated before sighing. "Yes, yes. Come in. Do be quiet though. I think they're still asleep in the attic." She opened the door wider as she spoke, allowing the blond to slip past her.

 "Oh, _of course_ ," Bill purred, a flash of gold appearing in his irises before it vanished. The door shut as he edged closer, lowering the flowers and returning the picture to his pocket.

 " _We wouldn't want company to wake up before breakfast, obviously._ "

 

 Something warm and furry hit him in the face as it moved, causing Dipper to gasp softly and sit upright. He nearly moaned in annoyance when he realized it was just the golden retriever before seeing that his sibling was still asleep and he definitely didn't want to wake her up. Mabel liked to wake up on her own accord; otherwise she was crabby for most of the day and Stan then got cranky and made Dipper do some weird chore as punishment.

 The presence of Princess made Dipper frown as he recalled the events of the day before. So it hadn't been a dream. This "adventure", as his twin put it, was real.

 "Great," he muttered, gently moving Mabel's arm off of him as he stood up. Princess whined quietly and he shushed her after a minute. "I'm just getting up to go downstairs. Maybe thank Abuelita for not beating us over the head when we came to her house last night."

 It felt so odd talking to a dog. He had to remind himself that there was definitely something different and off about Princess. He remembered how the Trolls had referred to her as if she were royalty. Glancing over at her now, he snorted. Maybe that was why she looked so proper.

 "Stay here and watch Mabel," the brunette whispered and Princess seemed to understand because she inched over to plop her head on his twin's stomach. He could have sworn she shot him a look saying, _Okay, I've got her. She's fine. Just go._ Dipper snorted once again and headed for the ladder, yawning as he grabbed his shirt to pull on when he got downstairs.

 

 How he ended up with the grandmother on the kitchen table tied up and gagged, sprinkling her with pepper, Bill couldn't quite recall. His wolf instincts had taken over when he inhaled her scent and suddenly he realized he hadn't eaten much last night. It'd been a while since he had tasted grandmother too...

 To her credit, the old woman had certainly put up a fight. He was quick to silence any sort of cries by gagging her but she still struggled heavily to escape. She was glaring daggers at him currently as he circled her as she sat bound on a large tray. If looks could kill, Bill would most likely have been dead. However this didn't deter him from rushing to add some potatoes to the tray around her, cackling as quietly as he could at her muffled shouts.

 " _A shepardess makes a lovely mess, but_ _little lambs are lovely_ ," the Half Wolf crooned, smirking as he put down the pepper grinder and glanced at the oven. Hmmm... She wasn't going to fit, was she?

 He glanced back at the grandmother, pleased by the touch of fright in her eyes at his expression.

 "I suppose if you aren't going to fit I should untie you, hmm?" The muffled sounds of agreement made his smirk twitch but he let her try and persuade him for a couple more moments. "Although...I could always eat you in pieces!" She squeaked in horror as Bill grabbed a hefty steak knife from the counter, cackling at her frantic movements.

 "Oh, stop struggling, will you? It's hard to eat your dinner when it's always _hopping about_!"

 Bill shook his head at his own joke, searching her cabinets for any good spices he could use. "Yeesh, what do I have to work with here, sweetheart? No garlic? Why don't you just give me some old dried herbs while you're at it!"

 She shouted something into the gag (he guessed it was a few choice words judging by the look the crossed her wrinkled face) and he brandished the large knife in front of her, gaze darkening. The female flinched and he grinned. Good. There needed to be a bit more fear in those eyes. "And here I was worrying that you were going to be some tough meat."

 "Um, Abuelita?" Every bone in Bill's body froze and he could see the grandmother's eyes bulging in horror now. "Are you awake?"

  _Shit. It's him._ Going by the tantalizing scent of the forest reaching his nose - to which he may or may not have growled pleasantly at, not that he would ever admit it - it was the boy. Pine Tree. Or, Dipper, as his great-uncle had called him.

 He couldn't let him see the grandmother in the kitchen. He snarled to her in a dangerously low tone, "Don't make a sound or I'll carve out your insides, old bat." Bolting from the room before she had time to respond, he hurried to the nearest door, which turned out to lead to the old woman's bedroom. Perfect. He licked his lips and crawled into the bed, hiding the knife and his entire body from sight as the white fluffy sheets engulfed him.

 

 "Abuelita?" Dipper scratched the back of his neck, fighting back another yawn as he yanked his shirt over his head. He grimaced at how sticky it felt, stained with sweat from yesterday's Troll encounter. He definitely needed to shower when they got back to the Shack.

 Where was Soos' grandma? He thought he heard something coming from the kitchen before and headed in that direction. It seemed she wasn't awake, but something was nagging at him in his gut.

 Just as he put his hand on the door handle to the kitchen, a soft strained voice called out from the door down the hall, "Over here, darling!"

 Raising an eyebrow, Dipper let go of the door and headed to the woman's bedroom. By the looks of it, she was still lying in bed, the covers almost pulled completely over her. He couldn't see her face from where he was standing but a soft whimpering sound came from under the sheets. He headed to her window, pulling back the curtains and squinting at the sunlight flooding the bedroom.

 "You okay, Abuelita?"

 All he got in reply was an even softer whine. The brunette's brows furrowed as he edged closer. Why wasn't she up yet? Was she ill?

 "Do you need anything? I can go to the kitchen and get something for you if you want?"

 The mass under the sheets whined louder, shifting a little. Dipper reached out to the ivory sheets, wondering if he was going to have to wake Mabel and get her to make the woman some soup. His frown grew and he pulled away the bed sheets.

 For the briefest moment both men gazed at each other, one in shock and the other out of curiosity. Then Dipper opened his mouth to yell for his sister and scrambled back from the bed. The blond stranger surged forward, latching onto the younger's arm as he shoved him back. Dipper fell onto his back on the plush mattress and his eyes widened as the intruder raised the steak knife in one swift movement. He shut his eyes and gripped the sheets hard as the hand on his arm tightened considerably.

  _Oh, man, oh, man! Mabel, please be okay, god, this creep is going to kill me! He probably already killed Soos' grandma now that I think about it... Oh, god, Mabel, I'm so sorry!_

 Bill froze, arm raised, as he took in the brunette's appearance. Damn. He was scrawnier than he'd expected and his eyes had darker bags than his picture, but he couldn't deny that the other looked delicious. He certainly had some muscle in his arms and the Half Wolf found himself licking his lips idly once he took note of how Dipper shivered in fear, anticipating the blow.

 " _Wow._ "

 Well, that was unexpected. Dipper's eyes fluttered open after a moment, baffled by the lack of action suddenly. Why had he stop - ? Oh. He seemed to be... _staring at him?_ His cheeks flushed as the blond grew nearer and he made to move back but the hand on his wrist still held him in a bruising grip. It didn't help that the stranger was gazing at him like he was a raw steak.

 "Your picture doesn't do you justice!" he declared, a wild grin lighting up his face. "Utterly brilliant in the flesh, I must say."

 The blond glanced over and it seemed to dawn on him what position the two men were in as well as what he was currently holding over the younger. His grin turned a bit sheepish and the weapon loosened in his grip. "Oops! How did this get here...?"

 These words snapped Dipper out of whatever confused haze he was in and he tore his wrist from the man's grip, grimacing at how much it throbbed to do so. Now wasn't the time to care about such things though, and he scrambled off the bed only to be met with the stranger rushing towards him, the knife still in hand. He didn't waste any time hurrying for the door but a strong arm swung around his middle and yanked him back.

 "Leaving so soon?" the other hissed, making Dipper's skin crawl in a way he didn't like at all. The man elbowed the blond in the gut and made for the door once more. Unfortunately, he was blocked by his would-be killer who was now between him and the only exit. He gritted his teeth and tried to seem like he wasn't nervous around this creep.

 "Stay away from me."

 The blond snickered as if he had just told a hilarious joke. "Oh, you're cute, Pine Tree." _Pine Tree?_ Dipper's eyes narrowed as he backed away from the slowly advancing figure. He decided then that he _really_ did not appreciate the look in the other's eyes. "Trying to be all defiant like this. You're practically an open book, kid!"

 "I mean it," Dipper ground out. His eyes darted to his right where an old vase sat on the dresser. He needed to get Mabel and get out of here. God, it was the Troll situation all over again! Did none of these creeps understand what personal space was?

 Although those Trolls at least weren't gazing at him with such blatant hunger in their eyes...

 "Hmmm, very convincing tone you're using. Are you afraid I'll go after your sister too?" The blond grinned knowingly as Dipper's eyes widened. "Oh, please. Don't look so shocked! She's still sleeping with that dog upstairs, isn't she?" He paused for a moment, sniffing almost comically. "Of course she is. Such is the way of royalty, eh?"

 "What?"

 Taking advantage of his momentary bewilderment, the stranger lurched forward, almost slamming Dipper against the wall. He tried to shove the other off but his wrists were pinned and that knife was dangerously close to his fingers. Dipper nearly yelped when the strange man's nose pressed into his hair, flush against him and - _holy shit was he_ sniffing _his hair?! How did he attract people like this?!_ The soft sound emitted from the body against him was enough to make his face glow cherry red.

 "Fucking _get off me!_ " Dipper rammed himself into the other grimacing when he felt a dull ache in his head as a shoulder accidentally connected with his forehead. The grip on his wrists loosened and he ran for the door for a second time.

 He was startled by a chuckle behind him and found himself cornered once more as the intruder darted around him, only a few feet from the door. His eyes swiveled to the vase and he inched towards it, struggling to control his breathing. Heart pounding in his ears, the young man felt as if he were on fire.

 "So this was how you got rid of those Trolls, huh? Let them chase you around a bit before drawing them in?" Recognizing the wariness and anger beginning to seep into the brunette's eyes, the stranger grinned almost genuinely. "Oh, how rude of me! I didn't introduce myself! Then again, I suppose that you aren't supposed to do that to people after you try to kill them, hmm?"

  _He's insane!_ Dipper edged more in the direction of the dresser, keeping an eye on the other.

 "What did you do to Soos' grandmother? Why the _hell_ are you in her house?!"

 "Oh, don't worry. That old bat? She's fine. Really, I wouldn't worry about her." That didn't reassure Dipper of anything, unsurprisingly. He ground his teeth together and decided that _screw it_ , he wasn't going to die. Not if this creep was going after his twin too. He grabbed the vase and slammed it down on the blond's skull, throwing open the bedroom door and running for his life. He didn't dare stop to see if he had succeeded in knocking out the creep.

 "MABEL!" Dipper screamed up the ladder, eyes darting behind him as he heard laughter coming from nearby. _Dammit, dammit, dammit! He's not unconscious!_ "MABEL, WAKE UP!"

 For a terrifying moment, there was no response and the man's heart clenched horribly in his chest.

 "...Mmmm? Dip?"

 He sighed in relief although the feeling vanished the moment he heard a high-pitched voice call, "Oh, kiiiiiiid!" Without hesitating, the brunette practically flew up the ladder, hands trembling as he pulled his body into the attic. He heard the stranger heading for the ladder and slammed the trapdoor shut, head whipping over to where Princess and Mabel were. The former was standing by his twin, trying to urge her to get up by pulling on her sweater. A sudden rush of gratefulness swept over him and he nodded at Princess in thanks before hurrying over to help.

 "Dipper, what's wrong?" Mabel rubbed her eyes, still recovering from awakening mere moments ago. "Have gnomes invaded the house?"

 "No, but this creep was in Abuelita's bedroom and he tried to kill me," Dipper explained, pushing his twin behind him protectively. Princess, seeing that Mabel was in good hands, immediately ran and hid behind a pile of old cardboard boxes. He didn't care what she did, honestly. His priority right now was Mabel.

 "Wait, _what_?" Now the young woman's brown eyes grew as big as golf balls.

 Before he could try to explain any further, the trapdoor sprang open, causing her to shriek as the blond stranger pulled himself up into the attic. He clucked his tongue distastefully at how dusty it was up there for a moment. His face lit up at the sight of Dipper pushing his sister behind him. A large grin that seemed nearly inhumane stretched across the stranger's face.

 "Ah, Pine Tree! And I'm assuming this is your lovely twin."

 "Stop calling me that!" Dipper snapped, gripping his sister's hand tightly as she slipped it into his. "Whoever you are, just stay away from us, okay?"

 The blond rolled his eyes, although he seemed highly amused at the other male's attempt at intimidation. "Stay away? Oh, no. That's not a possibility. The name's Bill Cipher, by the way!" He extended a hand toward the brunette but got no response other than a fierce glare. He shrugged and retracted it. "And don't worry! Now that I've seen you eating you is _totally_ out of the question!"

 Mabel made a choked sound behind her brother. " _Eating?!_ "

 Bill ignored the woman and tossed aside the knife he had brought up with him. This definitely didn't make Dipper relax as the blond walked towards them. Mabel tugged him backwards so he followed her lead.

 "Oh, don't look at me like that, kid!" Bill pouted but it was ruined by the twitching of a smirk on his lips. Also there was the fact that he had probably murdered Soos' grandmother. "I'm not a bad guy! I know we got off to a bad start, but we can start over!"

 "Hell no!"

 All of a sudden the pronged end of a grappling hook shot out from behind Dipper and slammed into Bill's gut. He cried out and Dipper turned around in surprise to see his sister scowling with the weapon in hand.

 "Nobody tries to kill my brother!"

 The blond rushed forward with a growl, his blue eyes gleaming with a mixture of emotions neither twin could comprehend. Mabel yanked Dipper out of the way and Bill stopped himself before he fell out the open window, a smirk playing on his lips.

 "I have to admit, I like you two! First the Trolls and now this?" He whistled and bared his teeth in a crooked smile. Dipper felt a shiver run up his spine. "Aren't you two a pair!"

 Growling himself now in anger, Dipper surged towards the intruder and sent him flailing backwards. Bill's eyes met his for a moment, shock displayed clearly in his face before he tumbled out of the window. Dipper would have followed the same path down if his sister hadn't grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back.

 The two breathed hard, swallowing as their hearts raced impossibly fast. Mabel wiped her face with her sweater sleeve, not commenting on how her brother was shaking slightly as he moved to peer out the window. "I... I'll go see if Abuelita is okay."

 Dipper didn't reply as he stared down, his eyes locked with Bill's before the blond's shut. Thankfully the guy wasn't dead, having landed on a pair of garbage cans out under the window. Still, that had to have hurt. He barely registered his sister's horrified scream minutes later as she emerged in the kitchen and discovered what Bill Cipher had done to the poor woman.

 "OH MY GOD! ABUELITA!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill, no. Grandmothers aren't for eating. And don't give poor Stanley anything magical, we all know that ends badly...
> 
> (So incredibly sorry for the wait. I really don't have an excuse for how long this chapter took to come out. Also, I died laughing while writing the Bill/Dipper scenes. I can't take these dorks seriously, I'm so sorry)


	4. Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, in which the Pines family realize they've bitten off more than they can chew and everything goes to shit, for lack of a better term.

_I had the strangest feeling,_  
  _Your world's not all it seems_ _,_  
  _So tired of misconceiving_ _,_  
  _What else this could've been_ _..._

* * *

 "Dipper! Stop, just - Dipper, slow down!"

 The brunette didn't listen. He ignored his sister's protests and continued walking in the direction of the park, nostrils flaring as he fought to control his breathing. Princess ran beside him, something akin to confusion shining in the animal's eyes. _If she even was an animal._

  _Crazy blonds who wanted them dead. Trolls that wanted them dead. What else was going to try and kill them?_

_Was it all because of this dog, Princess? Was she even a canine at all? She certainly didn't act like one, what with knowing how to write and understand the twins. If not, though what was she? If she was the whole reason why they were being hunted then why had they not just left her?_

_What the actual fuck was going on?_

 "Dipper Pines, are you even hearing what I'm saying?"

 "I'm not deaf."

 "Then can you stop walking for one second?!"

 He huffed but obeyed, coming to a halt and waiting for Mabel to catch up to him. Princess tilted her head out of slight confusion as she too stopped. Mabel was panting slightly, hurrying to his side and pressing a hand over her stomach.

 "Ach, cramps. Great."

 Princess let out a small whine and nudged the brunette with her nose, causing Mabel to start before she smiled. Dipper crossed his arms over his chest, glancing behind him uneasily. He couldn't get over the sensation of being watched. Strangely, there was practically no one in town today. It made him feel like he was inside of a horror film, like they were going to pop up out of nowhere and try to kill the twins too.

 Dipper huffed and looked back at his twin. Being out in the open made him nervous but they couldn't stay at Soos' grandmother's place (especially after they had untied the poor woman and quickly departed from there).

 Every time he thought of being watched, blue animalistic eyes ingrained themselves in his brain more.

 "Dipper, can't we talk about this?" He turned his attention back to his sister, seeing the pleading look in her eyes. "We can't just leave her!"

 "Yes, we can!"

 "She's being hunted by those Trolls and who knows what that creep wanted!" Mabel countered. She wrapped her arms protectively around the dog, startling Princess momentarily. "She needs help, Dipper, and we can't just leave her on her own."

 Dipper groaned and ran a hand down his face. "She's a dog, Mabel! I could care less what happens to her!"

 "Well, I'm not letting go of Princess. Look at this face!" She pointed to the golden retriever's furry face and the dog seemed to snort. The young man gritted his teeth.

 "Ever since we found her, bad things have happened! We almost died twice! If she wants help so badly then she needs to find someone who can actually understand her."

 Mabel huffed, tightening her hold on Princess. "Stop being so selfish and think of what could happen to her if those Trolls get her. They didn't look like they wanted to have a party - they looked like they wanted to eat her or something!" As if on cue, Princess shuddered.

 Dipper wanted to scream. Did she not understand that they both were in danger by being near this animal? Everyone that they'd encountered in the past twenty-four hours had had an intent on killing them. If they hadn't been resourceful and thought quickly, they would most likely be dead! Who knew if Grunkle Stan was even okay after last night! He was probably worried sick over them, despite their note. He was surprised that they had not gotten a call from the man yet asking where they were, to be honest.

 This was all insane. These strangers were insane. His sister, who was hugging the dog that might not be a dog, was insane for thinking that they could possibly help this creature with whatever the hell it was they needed.

 The worst part was that a thrill was running through his veins at the thought of everything they had done, of fighting off that "Bill" character, of outwitting the Trolls. And he hated it with a burning passion because _he was insane he shouldn't be enjoying this "adventure"._

 "Mabel," Dipper said as calmly as he could, "we need to drop her off where we found her. Maybe whoever she was looking for instead will be able to help her. What are we supposed to do? We can't even communicate with her properly!"

 "She can write," Mabel replied. She turned to Princess, who was watching them both with unnerving stillness now. "Can't you, Princess?"

 The dog broke free from her arms and Mabel cried, hurrying down the street for the woods after the dog. Dipper glanced at the form of his twin disappearing into the trees and groaned loudly, running after them.

 None of this made sense. This was all so strange and he had no idea why it was happening to him.

 Yet a small part of Dipper welcomed the sense of an approaching quest nagging at him.

* * *

 Stan had never been living better.

 He was currently lounging on the worn armchair in his living room, drinking a Pitt Cola listening to the hustle and bustle in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack. He heard Manly Dan shouting something about prices to some of the tourists and chuckled, leaning back in the chair.

 As strange as it sounded, the wishes were...real. After the first one and after that strange family had left, he had slumped against the door with a sigh. He'd been utterly exhausted. Before he had been able to go and relax in his nice bed, two more families pushed through the door and begged him to give another tour. From there it had only escalated. By the time it was five a.m., Stan was beginning to regret not refusing the tourists. They just kept coming! One person couldn't run the Shack by themselves!

 Through his exhaustion he had absentmindedly muttered, "I wish there were more employees at the Mystery Shack."

 Once more the green smoke had left his lips and to his astonishment by the time he had managed to herd all of the satisfied customers out of the gift shop, he had half of the town at his doorstep with glassy eyes claiming that they were eager to help.

 Sure, it was more than a little disturbing but he couldn't deny that he just wanted to go to bed so he gave them instructions for the new wave of tourists and went to sleep. When he woke up he felt no small amount of relief at the cash bulging out of his cash register and the townspeople (no matter how weird it was to see them brainwashed like this) were enthusiastic about staying to run the shop while Stan relaxed. He had even been able to sleep in, for once, without worrying over whether they would have enough money to support the Mystery Shack (and the Pines family) for the future.

 That was how he had found himself in the kitchen studying the can of Pitt Cola in his hand as an idea struck him. The old man chuckled, turning the can over in his hand and closing the fridge door.

 "Magic voodoo bean, let's do some more business, eh? I wish for a never-ending supply of Pitt Cola!" Stan threw open the fridge after a moment, raising an eyebrow at the sight of two more cans lying inside. "Really? That the best you can do?"

 There was the sound of aluminum crumpling inside the fridge and he opened it to find six more in place of the two. Still, that wasn't exactly _endless_ on his accounts...

 He shut the door once more and waited a couple of moments before opening the door for the last time. Stan gave a joyous shout as he spied two dozen more in the back of the fridge. He grabbed three more cans and chuckled to himself as he headed to the living room, setting the other three down on the table beside the chair. One could get used to this. Half of his wishes gone and he was already doing pretty damn good, if he did say so himself.

 That last thought caused the man to freeze, thinking to himself. Half of his wishes. He only had three left, two gone due to a slip of the tongue already.

 Damn, he needed to be more careful about throwing around his words. Perhaps it would be wiser to save these wishes until he needed them.

 Right. Stan leaned back with a sigh, setting his jaw. He couldn't go around wasting wishes, after all. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Who knew when he would be offered another chance like this? He could almost hear his great-nephew's voice in his head, scolding him for wishing for such things that could easily be worked out (well, perhaps not the endless supply of soda).

  _The twins_. Stan swore out loud and nearly dropped his Pitt Cola can. He had forgotten entirely about the twins who would supposedly be back today from staying over at Soos' grandmother's place the previous night. They had an explanation for their sudden departure as well, and he had been eager to hear it. Were they doing alright? Why had they left? Did they know who this lunatic named Bill Cipher was prior to his meeting with the freak? What was up with this dog Cipher had been mentioning too?

 He moved to sit up and go for the phone, only to jump as one of the townspeople (Lazy Susan, he registered as he calmed down) appeared before him. It was odd to see her with one glassy eye but he tried to put aside his discomfort to listen to what she had to say. "Uh, yeah? Has the Shack caught fire or something?"

 "No, Mr. Pines. That would be silly." She laughed for a moment and he raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. "No, I just came to tell you that we've been hearing voices from behind that vending machine of yours in the gift shop. They sound _very_ distressed and there is a large artifact in front of it..."

 The written words in the note from his great-nephew and great-niece raced through his head, warning him not to open the machine unless he was far away from the Shack. He remembered seeing that giant Aztec wheel in front of the vending machine and figured that was what she had meant. He wanted to tell the woman to simply ignore the voices but then he thought of the customers that had been coming in since late last night and pinched the flesh above his nose with a sigh.

 "Don't worry about whatever is behind that machine, alright? If it is becoming a real issue then start taking tourists on the outdoor tour instead. And make sure not to give any refunds!"

 Lazy Susan pulled her eyelid up so that he could see her other glassy eye before she pulled it back down with a smile. "Wink!" With that she hurried back to the gift shop, the sounds of some little kids cooing over something in there reaching the old man's ears. He sighed once more and glared at the Pitt Cola in his hand.

 He really needed to call up Dipper and Mabel about this whole mess.

 "Mr. Pines!" Stan growled as he heard Tad Strange calling for him. "There's a little issue with the cash register in here!"

 Maybe his next wish should be to get him and the twins out of this town and on their way to the Bahamas, he couldn't help but think to himself before heading to deal with the new mess.

* * *

  _Wake up._

 He didn't want to. Sleep sounded great after a night of running about.

  _You have a duty._

 Fuck that King. He didn't owe the man anything -

  _Do you want to go back to your cramped cell in the prison?_

 That last voice sounded suspiciously close to the Evil King's own and startled Bill so much that his eyes shot wide open. He sat up panting, brow furrowed as he struggled to process where he was and what had happened. He grimaced as he pulled himself to his feet, frowning further as he took note of the metal cans he had been sprawled over. His back ached considerably but he wasn't injured too greatly.

 Everything came rushing back in a flood as he looked up to the window above. _Pine Tree_.

 Right. Perhaps he could have been slightly more charming on that part before nearly decapitating the brunette. Funny, even now the man's scent lingered in his nostrils. He smirked as he recalled the defiant gleam in those brown eyes. There had been a similar one in his sister's before she had fired that awful pronged weapon at him (damn, that had hurt, and in their great-uncle's depths when they first met. Maybe it was a trait that ran in this strange family.

 If so, he wasn't as irritated as he should have been considering the circumstances. By all rights, Bill should have been steaming and screaming for blood before tearing into those three. It had been so long since he had had a decent meal (he really should have stopped in that diner when he had had the chance, he thought sadly to himself). If the three were as delicious as they smelled, then it would certainly fill him up.

  _The dog_. Bill growled as he reminded himself of the true reason why he was here in this strange new land. He had to get that brat back to the King above anything else.

 There was a small part of him that vehemently shook its head at the idea of eating the family just yet, as well. It had been so long since he had been free, making deals, playing games with folk who thought they were so clever. It had been so long since someone had managed to outwit him (or throw him out of a window).

 He had missed that.

 Bill Cipher grinned wickedly, undoubtedly pleased with the new game-changing predicament.

 Oh, yes. He was going to take a _long time_ playing with his prey.

_Let the games begin._

* * *

 "What is it now?" Stan glared at Tad as the dark-haired man led the way to the cash register through the incoming tourists in the gift shop. Lazy Susan had gone back to running the register and was taking in the money from the customers paying with a slightly strained smile, stuffing the green the best she could into the cash register's open tray. The line to buy souvenirs was out the door now and Stan tried not to feel panicked as he realized that even with so many people running tours and trying to take care of the tourists, it still wouldn't be able to keep the customers in the very back satisfied.

 "The register, Mr. Pines." Tad gestured to the tray with one hand and with the other he pointed to the growing line. "We won't be able to hold all of this cash at this rate. The line is simply too long and Susan can only hold them off for so long. Manly Dan's offers to show them mysterious parts of the woods are simply going to get them lost."

 "I know my way around these woods just fine, Mr. Pines!" Dan bellowed from where he was bent over by the gift shop entrance, a group of tourists surrounding him as they eagerly awaited this tour. "Come on, folks! I'm going to take you to see the Hide-Behind, only seen in legend - and disturbing picture books!" A cheer went up from the children in the group, as well as a couple enthusiastic teens.

 Stan winced. That stupid Hide-Behind was a lumberjack legend that the Corduroy family had been insisting for years was real. Dipper had even tried for a month to prove the thing's existence, only to admit that it was an urban legend. The tourists were bound to get bored within the first ten minutes when they realized they wouldn't be able to see the creature that hid behind you (literally).

 "Mr. Pines!" Stan turned to see Tyler Cutebiker, the Mayor of the town, running towards him from the kitchen. His glassy eyes were full of fright. The man had become the Mayor almost ten years ago, when the twins had been twelve and living under his care for about a month or so, and while he was odd Stan didn't think he was that bad of a Mayor truthfully. At least he did a lot better than Stan himself probably would have done.

 "What? Unless something is on fire or someone's died, I don't want to hear about it."

 Mayor Cutebiker wrung his hands in front of him, eyes wide and frantic. "Mr. Pines! It's your refrigerator, though!"

 Dread pooled in Stan's gut. "My fridge?"

 "It's trembling and shaking and I think something inside of it is trying to get out!"

 Swearing under his breath, Stan grabbed Tad's shoulder with a steely look. "Figure out a way to keep all of that money someplace if that register can't hold it all. And make sure Corduroy doesn't get those tourists lost. I'll be right back, hear me?" The average-looking man nodded and hurried over to Lazy Susan to help her store the cash coming in.

 Stan turned back to the Mayor, inwardly sighing out of annoyance. "Alright, lead the way."

 Mayor Cutebiker nodded and pushed through the crowd of families in the merchandise section of the gift shop, clearing a narrow path for the older man to follow him to the kitchen. A couple of women tried to get Stan's attention, asking him for a special discount tour or for discounts in general, but he ignored them. He managed to pull away from a particularly clingy old lady and huffed as he entered the kitchen.

 His heart sank to its toes when he realized his suspicions had been confirmed. The fridge was rattling violently and Pitt Colas were beginning to spill out of the appliance even as Cutebiker scurried over in an attempt to shove them all back inside. When that wish had granted him an endless supply, it really hadn't been kidding on the _endless_ part apparently.

 "Fucking magic beans." Stan ran forward, shoving with all his might against the sentient appliance. The Mayor quickly understood what to do even in his brainwashed state and pressed his weight against the fridge door too, dropping a couple of soda cans out of his arms. The fridge groaned in protest. The door didn't shut entirely and Stan grimaced as the two men tried to close it, the pressure behind the door growing with every second they hung on.

 Spying some yarn hanging out of the cabinets from Mabel's knitting projects, Stan surged forward and grabbed as a few rolls of the string, winding it around the handle of the fridge door. He tied of the colorful yarn on the faucet of the sink, hoping that would do.

 "Push against that thing with all you've got," he told Mayor Cutebiker sternly. "Yell if you need help from someone else. Make sure it stays closed."

 "B - But, Mr. Pines - !"

 Stan didn't stay around to listen to his whining. He hurried out of the kitchen and back into the gift shop, wanting to throw something as he watched Tad and Susan shove dollar bill after dollar bill into a duffel bag he kept under the counter. The line leading to the counter of the gift shop was still out the door despite how fast it was struggling to move along. New tourists were pouring in without a second thought, dozens of cars parked outside the Mystery Shack. The glassy eyes of the brainwashed were frantic and their polite smiles nervous upon second glance.

 They wouldn't be able to hold off this many people. He had to redirect these tourists and lighten the load. No matter how much they needed the money, this whole situation was getting ridiculous.

 "What else can possibly go wrong?" he grumbled under his breath, running a hand through his greying hair.

 As if on cue, Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubbs squeezed their way in through the enthusiastic throngs of people. The shorter of the two, Sheriff Blubbs, spotted Stan and pushed towards the man. "Stan Pines! What is the meaning of all of this?"

 Stan noted with an uneasy feeling that the cops' eyes were not glassy like the others here. It seemed that not all of the townsfolk were under that second wish's spell. Luckily, what the old con man did best was lie and he quickly got to it with a false smile.

 "Sheriff Blubbs, I can, ah... I can explain! See, business is booming again here at the Shack and these kind folk decided to lend me a hand since things are getting a bit... _hectic_. Isn't that right, everyone?" He looked to the other citizens with a smile plastered on his face, trying to ignore the sweat beading on his brow.

 " _Yes, Mr. Pines_ ," every person with glazed eyes spoke in an overly enthusiastic tone in unison. Both cops looked uncertain and Stan knew this definitely looked suspicious. The Shack had not had this much activity since the twins were in their teens and the "volunteers'" response to the situation only made things look worse.

 "Are you sure there is nothing else going on here?" the sheriff questioned, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

 Stan opened his mouth to dissuade this claim, only to hear Mayor Cutebiker screech, "MR. PINES! THE FRIDGE!"

 Before he could do anything, there was a thundering explosion from the kitchen and everyone covered their ears or screamed as bits of the fridge and Pitt Cola shot into the gift shop. The Mayor dragged himself out of the room into the gift shop, covered in soda with a dazed look. Stan stared in horror at the spot in the kitchen that was once his refrigerator and quickly shoved the man to his feet. The looks on the cops' faces didn't cause him to feel any less nervous, especially when they turned those looks upon him.

 "Uh, I was just having a drink with the Mayor, see?"

* * *

 The Trolls were starting to reconsider their life choices. They had been trapped down in this dingy hallway for ages, perhaps years! Yet still no one had come to rescue them (not that the three _needed_ rescuing, for they were Trolls after all and Trolls didn't _need_ rescuing!). The Trolls had been searching for an exit from the moment they had gotten stuck down in this dark prison, but other than some metal door at the end of the tunnel (which they had tried to break down, but failed to do any damage) they had found nothing of importance to getting them out.

 Still, as they sat in an unintentional triangle in the dark (for their eyes had finally adjusted after a couple of hours in the dim lighting) Blabberwort glanced between her brothers with her jaw set in determination. Their father and the King were counting on them to bring the Princess back alive. They couldn't allow themselves to be bested by these infuriating enchanters.

 "I have a plan," she whispered, catching their immediate attention. "Are you with me? Do you trust me?"

 "I trust you, sis," Burly said, laying a hand on hers with a wide grin. Blue Bell immediately placed his hand on his siblings', his own grin a little strained.

 "I trust her more."

 Sensing the competitive nature in his brother, Burly scowled. "No, _I_ trust her more." He moved his hand so that it was on the top of the hands.

 "No, _I_ do!"

 "Oh, shut up, Blue Bell!"

 Blue Bell shot to his feet and Burly followed, growling. The female Troll quickly stood when the two began grappling, shoving each other against the walls of the tunnel.

 "It's your fault we're in this mess!"

 "No, it's that witch and that wizard who tricked us!"

 "Yeah, and now we're going to be stuck here forever!"

 Burly gave a sudden howl and threw himself at the door that had shut on them so long ago. Both of his siblings started and looked at each other in mixed confusion and uneasiness as the eldest Troll pushed with all his strength against the door. They weren't entirely sure what to do. The last time he had gotten this mad, they had had to have their dad knock some sense into him - literally.

 To all of the Trolls' surprise, there was shrieking from the other side of the door and whatever was blocking the door toppled over with a loud shattering _CRASH!_ Burly fell onto his face as the door swung open and sunlight streamed into the tunnel as the other two stumbled towards their brother. The trio squinted and cursed as they heard people running about and guessed that whatever had been holding the door closed had been made of some kind of stone because there were bits of stone scattered all around. Burly scrambled to stand, gripping his weapon as he struggled to adjust to the light again.

 "Amazing! We're right back where we started!" he guessed by what he could vaguely make out.

 "Don't eat me!" a figure cried out as they ran from the trio of Trolls. Burly quickly seized the male's shirt from the back and brought him closer as his vision adjusted better. This human looked fairly average with black hair and a white shirt and black pants.

 "Have you seen a boy and girl who live here?" he demanded.

 "They're probably a witch and wizard!" Blabberwort added helpfully as she moved closer to them.

 "W - Well, I don't know about any magic but I know Mr. Pines has a great-niece and great-nephew!" the man managed to get out, eyes wide at the sight of the misshapen and ugly faces leering at him. "They're Dipper and Mabel, and he didn't say where they were but they usually go to the woods to explore. Y - You'll probably find them there. Mr. Pines just got taken by the police for 'disturbing the peace', I believe."

 The Trolls didn't care about the last part so Burly tossed the man aside and grinned at his siblings (or, rather, in the direction of them since he still was having a hard time seeing). "It looks like we're going back to the woods."

* * *

 "I just don't think this is the best decision," Mabel reiterated for the third time since they had gone back to the park. Dipper rubbed his eyes with one hand, the other stuffed into his jacket pocket.

 "Mabel, we can't do anything for Princess, okay? She obviously needs something that we can't understand so maybe if we bring her back, she'll find whomever - or whatever - she is looking for. It's the least we can do."

 The golden retriever growled in protest beside him and he shot her a dirty look. "Look, I don't speak 'Dog', alright?"

 Mabel grabbed onto his forearm, pulling her twin to a stop as she stared him down despite the fact that he was an inch taller. "Dipper, calm down. I know you're upset and scared - "

 "I'm not - !" He quickly closed his mouth at the look on her face. " _Okay,_ I'm scared. We nearly got killed by some maniac and these people who call themselves _Trolls_! This doesn't happen on a daily basis! Who knows what's happened to Stan after we left him there with those freaks! Or Abuelita - !"

 "I'm scared too, okay?" Mabel interrupted him, shaking his arm a bit so that he would listen to her. "I want to panic too, okay? I'm worried about Stan but he can take care of himself. We can't just leave Princess on her own if people are looking for her, Dipper. I don't think she is a dog; I don't think those people were...pretending to be Trolls, either." He opened his mouth to protest but she held up a hand firmly. "Think about it! Princess appeared out of nowhere and ran into _us_! Of all the people in Gravity Falls, she knocked over _us_! What if it's a sign? What if there's something more to all of this? If we let her go, we could be missing out on this huge mystery, Dippingsauce. Whatever happened to being the Mystery Twins?"

 Dipper sighed and glanced at Princess who was looking at the two of them with obvious interest. It was frightening how easily he could read the animal's blue eyes.

 "I stopped looking for the supernatural when I was sixteen, Mabel," he reminded his sister. "I've long since given up on those adventures, remember?"

 She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Bro-bro, I know you're curious about all of this too. Don't give me that look! This is our chance to investigate a _real_ mystery that might really be supernatural! None of this is normal, right?"

 "Mabel - "

 " _Right?_ "

 Dipper crossed his arms over his chest, his sister's hand falling off his forearm. "Right."

 "And do you or do you not want to figure out what is going on?"

 A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth against his will. "Maybe."

 " _Dipper_."

 He ruffled her hair with a snort and she shook off his hand. "Alright, _fine._ Yeah, I do."

 Mabel puffed out her chest, placing her hands on her hips. "So it is settled! The Mystery Twins are back!"

 A faint howl, sounding much like a wolf's, reached their ears at that moment and both of the siblings looked at one another uneasily. Princess's ears pricked up and her eyes blew wide as she sniffed the air. The dog latched her teeth into Dipper's pant leg, tugging him into the woods with a muffled whine. He yelped and tried to remove her, Mabel rushing over to help. "What the hell? Get off me!"

 "I think she's trying to tell us something again!"

 Dipper rolled his eyes. "Really? I hadn't noticed?"

 

 "You know, I can give you two anything you want," Stan said casually, although internally he was panicking. The police car was cramped enough without his hands handcuffed behind his back, and neither of the officers seemed keen on talking to him. In fact, they seemed a bit uneasy after the incident with the fridge (not that he could really blame them).

 Still, if he didn't get out of the vehicle he knew he was going back to prison. And there was no way that was going to happen.

 "It'll go over easier with the judge if you stop bribing us, Mr. Pines," Sheriff Blubbs remarked, turning onto the next street.

 "I'm serious! I... I can give you both anything just by wishing for it!" He hated to give away his trick up his sleeve (so to speak), but he was running out of options. The twins were probably wondering where he was and he couldn't go to prison. Not this way. "Watch! I wish - uh, I wish that I had a million dollars!"

 Green smoke spilled from his lips as he spoke his fourth wish, and the cops scoffed and shook their heads, not even turning to look at him. Within a few seconds, a large leather bag filled to the brim with hundreds materialized on the seat beside the man. Despite his desperation, Stan's jaw dropped. He had never seen so much money in all his life.

 "Nice try, Pines, but we don't believe in magic tricks."

 "Yeah!" the deputy chimed in, nudging his partner. "Besides, everyone knows that going to Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan is the best wish!"

 "Only if it's with you, Edwin," Sheriff Blubbs added with a smile.

 "Aw, Blubbs!"

 Stan leaned his head back against the seat with a groan of exasperation. This was beyond ridiculous. How had the situation gotten so horribly out-of-control?

  _If I ever see that Cipher again, I am going to throttle him_ , he decided in his head.

 "I wish I could escape from this car right now," Stan mumbled before he realized that green smoke was once more pouring out of his mouth. "Wait!"

 It was too late. He couldn't take back his words.

 The cops didn't notice, of course, though this was because they were watching in confusion as the car swerved towards the forest as they made their way around the next turn. Sheriff Blubbs frowned and mumbled, "What on earth?" He tried to press down on the brakes but nothing happened. Green smoke drifted off of the pedal and Blubbs turned to his partner in fright.

 "What do we do?" the deputy cried.

 "I don't - Tree!" Sheriff Blubbs cut himself off as he tried to swerve away from the nearest tree, losing control of the steering wheel as it too rebelled against the true nature of an actual car. The three males gave unison shouts as the vehicle slammed its side into another tree, the door beside Stan flying off as it started to open by some miracle (though Stan noted the green smoke drifting into view as the broken hole where the door once stood sparked). Seeing his chance despite the frightening circumstances, Stan threw himself out of the moving vehicle and ignored the shouts of protest from the two cops.

 He grunted in pain as his side hit the dirt and forced himself awkwardly to his feet, running blindly into the woods as the police car came to a stop against the three. He caught a glimpse of the two struggling to open the doors to the car and said a silent thank you to the magic bean in his stomach. He knew there was no time to stop to try and get the handcuffs off; who knew how long those cops would be detained by this strange magic?

 Instead he kept running through the forest, unknowingly sealing his fate.

 

 "Alright, we get it!" Dipper shouted, pulling out of Princess's mouth and groaning as part of his jeans tore in the dog's mouth. Princess immediately spat it out, seeming just as disgusted as he was. "You want us to go somewhere, okay, we got it!"

 "Don't yell at her," Mabel chided, kneeling beside the golden retriever. Princess, who had been taking a liking to his sister it seemed, glanced up at the brunette as her expression softened. "Princess, what do you need us to do? Do you need to write it in the dirt?"

 There was a distant crash and both twins' heads whipped to look in that direction. An uneasy sensation pulled at Dipper's gut.

 "That sounded like two cars," Mabel said slowly. Her face was paling at the thought of a car crash. Those rarely ever occurred in town, especially not by the woods.

 Princess didn't seem to care, running over a few feet to the nearest tree and barking at the twins to get their renewed attention. The look in the dog's eyes clearly stated that she was expecting them to follow her.

 "We can't worry about car crashes right now," Dipper told his twin, helping her to her feet as he glanced to where the dog was barking urgently. "I'm sure it wasn't as bad as it sounded from here."

 Mabel nodded and was about to turn away when her eyes widened and she gripped onto her brother's arm with a shocking amount of strength. "Wait... Grunkle Stan?"

 "What?" Dipper turned and was shocked to see that their great-uncle was indeed bounding toward them through the woods, his own eyes widening as he caught sight of his missing family members.

 "Kids?"

 "Grunkle Stan? What are you doing out here?" Dipper asked as the old man reached them, breathing heavily.

 "And why are you wearing handcuffs?!" Mabel added on, her eyebrows raising.

 Stan blew out a weary puff of air. "The cops think I've done something more suspicious than usual in the Shack. Oh, and the fridge exploded and the register was beginning to overflow - "

 " _What_?!"

 "Look, it's a long story!" he said defensively, moving past them, glancing back to make sure Sheriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland weren't going to follow him yet. "But don't even start that with me - where have you two been all night? Do you have any idea what I've been through? I was beginning to think you were hiding out at Soos' grandmother's for good!"

 Mabel and Dipper glanced at one another nervously. An unspoken exchange passed between the twins.

 "We kind of had to leave for...certain reasons," Mabel said cautiously.

 "What?"

 "There they are!" The twins paled as one and all of the Pines family turned to see, to their horror, the Trolls running towards them. Stan looked at his great-niece and great-nephew in confusion but the only explanation they offered was to drag him after Princess, who was looking impatient with their little reunion. They hurried along through the trees, thankful for the thick bushes they rushed through and hoping that their pursuers would not be smart enough to follow.

 "What the hell were those things?" Stan hissed, grimacing as the handcuffs chafed on his skin. He really needed to figure out how to get these things off.

 "Trolls," Mabel replied without another glance back at him. She grabbed Princess gently around the middle, causing the dog to growl, and whispered reassuring words to calm the retriever down. This didn't escape either male's notice, and Stan's eyes narrowed as he focused on the animal.

 "Hang on, that guy was looking for a dog!"

 "Who?" Dipper asked, immediately rounding on his great-uncle with a wary look. He grabbed his sister's hand as they heard the Trolls shouting at each other gleefully. Princess growled louder as she sniffed the air, obviously smelling something chasing them.

 "That jackass, Cipher! Did you see him? He was looking for you two, something about his dog. Also I need to wring his neck the next time I see him - "

 " _Cipher_?" Dipper's grip tightened unconsciously and Mabel looked at her brother now. The two exchanged another wordless look, sensing something was seriously wrong. "Blond hair, blue eyes, creepy smile?"

 Stan frowned. "Yeah, that's him alright."

 Dipper groaned and shut his eyes. "Are you kidding me? Grunkle Stan, did you tell him where we were?!"

 "That doesn't matter right now, Dipper," Mabel cut in, gesturing to both the Trolls and the golden retriever in her grasp. "Grunkle Stan, we need to figure out what Princess needs but we can't understand her. We don't think she is actually a dog at all, and both those Trolls and Bill want to get her!"

 Stan thought for a moment, staring at the growling animal before locking eyes with his great-niece. Dammit, he had never been able to resist her puppy dog eyes.

 "I may have a solution." He staggered over to her and knelt beside the dog, glaring at it as it glared back. "Watch this: I wish that Mabel could understand everything this dog is saying."

 Dipper snorted. "Seriously, Grunkle Stan?" His eyes widened nonetheless, as did Mabel's, as a thinning stream of green smoke left their great-uncle's lips to shoot up Mabel's nose. She winced and rubbed it with a frown at the tingling sensation that spread throughout her veins.

 "What was that?" she asked, baffled.

 She didn't hear whatever he said next, however; the brunette was distracted by a scoff from nearby that caused her to look to her left. _Seriously? It took that long for anyone to figure something out? Jeez, you're pathetic._

 "Hey! Who said that?"

 "Um, Mabel?" Dipper frowned as he and Stan glanced at each other, though the old man guessed this meant his wish had worked. "Are you okay?"

  _I did, you idiot._ Mabel stared in disbelief at the dog beside her, who was indeed glaring at her.

 "No way," she muttered quietly. Her eyes lit up as she realized she had just witnessed something magical for the first time.

  _Yeah, yeah. Listen to me now, alright? I need you to follow me and take me through this magic mirror to my Kingdom again. It's not too far away!_

 Princess ran off and Mabel shot to her feet, jerking Dipper to his too as their hands were still entwined. "Princess says we have to follow her, come on!"

 "Wha - ? Mabel, wait!" Dipper sputtered out as she pulled him along leaving Stan to hurriedly stumble to his feet and run after them. The shouts from the Trolls were still audible behind them, though it wasn't clear how close they were. "Did you just say that Princess _spoke_?"

 "Yes, Dipper, keep up!"

 He pulled himself out of her grip, glancing between his twin and his great-uncle. Stan shrugged, shaking his head as he watched Mabel hurry after the dog. "I don't know how this works exactly, kid, but one thing I've learned in the past twenty-four hours is not to question this mess. Come on."

 Dipper watched Stan start to run after Mabel for a second before throwing his hands up in frustration. Was he the only rational one in this group?

 "Uh, Princess?' Mabel's voice drifted back to Dipper and the man huffed, making up his mind as he followed his family members and the dog. "What exactly does this mirror look like?"

 "Mirror?" Stan inquired, but his great-niece waved him off as she listened to the animal's response.

  _It's a mirror but, uh, it doesn't look exactly like a mirror. More like...a shimmering veil between two trees. I jumped through this mirror when I got here, and then I ended up in the woods. I'm pretty sure it's magic._ Princess sniffed around, head whipping to the side before she rushed in that direction. _I think it was over here!_

 "What are we even looking for?" Dipper prompted as he watched his sister's brow furrow as she supposedly listened to the dog speaking.

 "A magic mirror," Mabel responded without missing a beat, running after Princess. "She said it's a mirror but it doesn't look like a mirror."

 Dipper and Stan looked at each other with the same confused look before Dipper muttered in a deadpan tone, "Very descriptive."

 "Just follow my lead, you two!"

 The two did hurry after them, albeit more out of the will not to get caught by their pursuers. Dipper had to steady his great-uncle a couple of times when he nearly fell over some of the tree roots, unable to steady himself with his hands. Stan grumbled about the handcuffs each time but it wasn't like they would be able to get the restraints off until they actually found a key so he fell quiet quickly each time.

 "They sound close!" the group heard one of the Trolls (Blabberwort by the sound of it) cry out. This only made them more eager to find this supposed mirror, although Princess was the only one actually looking around. The others were more intent on keeping up with the golden retriever.

  _Wait... Is that...? Ha, it is!_ Mabel glanced up to where Princess was stopping and gasped softly. Between the trees up ahead was a shimmering rainbow space that seemed to shift on its own, about the height of the average person and wide enough to fit a pair of fully grown golden retriever side-by-side. It hovered off the ground a couple of inches, rustling the blades of grass directly below it. _This is it! This is where I came in._

 "This is the magic mirror?" she couldn't help but ask Princess with a small tilt to her head.

  _Of course._ A snooty tone crept into the dog's voice (though she supposed this wasn't really a dog like she had thought). _If you value your lives, follow me!_

 Before she could question this, Princess leapt through the rainbow space and vanished. Stan's eyebrows crept toward the sky and the twins' jaws dropped as one.

 "Where did she go?" Dipper immediately demanded, rushing to look behind the shimmering space between the trees, only to find that there was nothing on the other side. "Holy cow, did you see that?"

 "She said to follow her through it," Mabel relayed, snapping out of her own daze.

 Stan crept forward, eyeing the veil more warily than the others. "Is it even safe?"

 "Princess went through it!" Mabel gestured toward the rainbow shimmering space. "Besides, we have to get away from the Trolls before they find us! We have no choice."

 "Grunkle Stan is right, Mabel." Dipper backed away from the area, glancing at his twin sister. He bit his lip uncertainly. Who knew what was hiding behind the veil, after all? "Maybe we shouldn't risk it."

 The brunette crossed her arms over her chest with a scowl. She glanced at the magic mirror and breathed out deeply through her nose. "We don't have a choice," she reiterated. "If we don't go now, we're going to get caught by those Trolls!"

 "I don't trust this thing, Mabel!"

 "Well, why can't you trust me, huh?" Mabel's eyes narrowed before she turned back to the mirror. "Because I trust the mirror. I think we're going to be just fine."

 "Mabel, I _do_ trust - "

 But before he could finish speaking, the young woman ran towards the mirror and was consumed by the rainbow space. Dipper's face paled as Stan's eyes grew wider. "Mabel!"

 Without even thinking through his actions, Dipper charged for the shimmering space as well and found himself vanishing too. Stan looked between the mirror and the direction that the shouting was coming from, hands fidgeting in the handcuffs behind his back as he groaned. Part of him didn't trust this thing at all, but he knew that he couldn't leave the twins alone in there with only a dog that might not even really be a dog.

 "Damn it all," he swore quietly before lowering his head and running through the veil in the way a bull might approach a bullfighter. Within seconds he too was taken in by the mirror's shimmering veil and all was still in the area for a good few minutes, as if recognizing a grave loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nervous laughter* So... I know I haven't updated in forever and I swear I have a good reason. I had to completely set aside all other stories for my NaNoWriMo novel (which still is not complete, nowhere near complete actually) so I am behind on all of this, sorry. Life has been super busy in general as well. But I haven't forgotten any of these stories I need to update so don't think I am giving up on any of them!
> 
> (To those of you who know the actual miniseries this plot is based upon, I wanted to add the whole therapy session in here but I couldn't really find a good substitute for that scene especially since Bill's personality is quite more destructive than Wolf's and it wasn't that important to the plot of this story. But if enough people want to see it, maybe I will wake a one-shot about my version of it.)
> 
> If you want to find out more about my original story, go to the tag Monachopsis on my tumblr (callonielb).


	5. It's Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, in which Grunkle Stan makes friends and the Trolls find a better prize than the dog.

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_

_  
I get a little bit bigger,_

_  
But then I'll admit,_

_  
I'm just the same as I was...._

* * *

 Traveling by magic mirror was precisely as strange as it sounded. Everything around Mabel was a blur of rainbow and she didn't know which way was up or down. Hell, she couldn't even see where _she_ was. She felt as if she were standing on the bow of a ship in the middle of a hurricane, blinded by wind and rain. Her hair whipped around her and she struggled as she brought a hand up to shield her eyes. Even that took effort, though. It was as if her limbs were weighed down by individual sandbags.

 She couldn't see if Princess was up ahead or not, or if anyone was behind her. She hoped Grunkle Stan and Dipper had followed her and hadn't gotten caught by those Trolls.

 After what felt like an hour (though in reality this whole leap had lasted no more than ten seconds), Mabel realized through the whirring in her ears there was a dark space up ahead that she was being thrust towards. She could not quite figure out what was behind it but she guessed that was where the missing dog had gone through. Within a moment she too was hurled through the veil and she had to shut her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, stumbling before regaining her balance.

  _Wow, you seem less disoriented than I was my first leap through the mirror._ The brunette gingerly looked down and saw that Princess was eyeing her with curiosity not too far to her right. Mabel decided to take the strange comment as a compliment.

 Looking around, she realized that she had come out into a strange cellar of sorts. It reminded her of a large underground antique shop that hadn't been explored in a century. Various artifacts had thick sheets pulled over them or were stacked in piles precariously, causing her to wonder how they had not yet fallen. She spotted a couple of jewelry chests and vases by Princess, paint long since faded on the surface. She felt a sense of morbid curiosity. Had all of this belonged to someone once? Mabel pictured a grand ruler standing where she was in a shining room of gold and silver artifacts, smiling as they spied the gleaming chests and intricate designs adorning the bright vases. The thought struck a pang of melancholy within the young woman, oddly. Now all that was left was a large room with dust and artifacts that had once been magnificent.

 There was a sound akin to the suction of a plunger behind her and Mabel whirled around quickly to find her brother thrown from a mass of shimmering space against her. He too seemed dazed after his trip through the mirror and rubbed his eyes as she steadied him. It took him a couple of moments before Dipper focused on her face, squinting despite their proximity.

 "Mabel? Are you alright?"

 "I'm fine, Dippingsauce," she reassured him, already feeling him get ready to check her for any injuries. "Just stand still for a minute. It takes a bit for the dizziness to go away."

 Before he could respond the suction sound was heard again and Grunkle Stan tumbled out of the mirror as well, nearly falling over as he fought to keep his balance. He blinked rapidly, as if this would help him blink away the nausea, and called out, "Kids? Are you here?"

 "Right in front of you, Grunkle Stan," Mabel replied, grasping the old man's shoulder to let him know she was there. She could have sworn she heard Princess snort (which was seriously weird, especially since only she could now hear this female voice in her head). "It takes a minute to adjust to the lighting so don't move about too much."

 "Where are we?" Dipper's vision was adjusting as quickly as hers had it appeared because he was already peering about with wide eyes. "What is this place?"

 "I don't know, but I have a feeling we aren't in Gravity Falls anymore," Stan grumbled as he leaned a bit of weight against his great-niece's arm.

  _There's no time to talk about this._ Princess's voice rang in the woman's head once more as the dog sat upright. _You have to follow me. Hurry!_

 "Princess says we have to follow her," Mabel supplied as she watched the golden retriever bound through the narrow walkways. She faintly wondered how the dog had happened upon this mirror on accident, assuming it was an accident.

 Dipper nodded, in a different sort of daze now, and turned to look at Mabel only for his eyes to widen further. "Whoa. Do you see that mirror?"

 Stan and Mabel did indeed turn and for the first time they stared long and hard at the actual mirror. It was an old-looking thing with dusty edges, about the size of the top of a kitchen table. Where the glass to peer in should have resided, they instead saw the forest of Gravity Falls where they had just jumped from. There were triangles residing in the circles in the corners and on the sides of the mirror, one of which was knocked out-of-place. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a century, but it was easy to imagine what it could have once looked like, glittering gold and grand.

 "This is incredible," Dipper was still muttering, moving closer to the artifact. Mabel was certain that he could have spent all day scrutinizing the magic mirror, trying to uncover how it worked and its properties, but Princess called out, sounding more impatient and urgent, _Come on! Stop dawdling and follow me!_

 "Bro-bro," Mabel probed, nudging his shoulder as Stan regained his balance and looked around them. "We have to go. The Trolls could follow us through this thing."

 He seemed reluctant to give up such an amazing find but he nodded and took her hand as she led them after the golden retriever. Stan trailed behind them, muttering about how if he polished up these pieces of junk he might be able to sell them at the Mystery Shack. Once or twice the twins had to pull their great-uncle after them as he studied something he deemed worthy of showing off at the Shack, and he proceeded to grumble for another minute or two.

 "I bet that mirror was how the Trolls came to the Shack," Dipper said after they managed to catch up with Princess in yet another room of dusty artifacts. He furrowed his brows in concentration. "They were chasing Princess and perhaps that creep Cipher came after them. But why would they all be interested in chasing a dog?"

  _I'm not just a dog, you moron._ Princess seemed miffed by her brother's words. _I'm a princess, soon to be a queen! And I won't have you talking about me like I am some common mongrel!_

 "Whoa, calm down there, Princess," Mabel quickly told the retriever, glancing at Dipper who looked confused at his twin's actions. "Just because Dipper can't hear you doesn't mean he thinks less of you."

 "Is she actually, you know, _talking_ to you?" Dipper implored. He eyed Princess warily and the dog bared her teeth in response before turning back around to lead them through the tunnels leading out of the room.

 "Of course. I don't know what exactly Grunkle Stan did but I can hear her voice in my head." She shrugged and watched as Princess sniffed the path up ahead suspiciously. "She says she is an actual princess, so I think we named her well, eh?"

 Stan raised an eyebrow. "Well, long story short, that Cipher jackass gave me this bean and said it was going to give me six wishes. I didn't really believe him, obviously, but...well, things have been sort of weird ever since."

 Dipper's grip on her hand tightened at the mentioning of Bill Cipher. "And then you told him we were at Abuelita's house."

 "Look, I wasn't going to if he meant you harm, kid," Stan replied. It wasn't hard to miss the twinge of regret in the man's voice. "All he said was he wanted to get his dog back and sure, he was a little creepy but he promised that was all he wanted."

 "Well, the first thing he did was try and kill me," Dipper snapped back.

 "And he tried to cook Abuelita," Mabel added helpfully.

 Stan choked at that. "He _what_?"

  _Are you all seriously this slow all the time? The Trolls will be coming through any minute now, so tell those two to shut up and hurry!_

 "Princess says to be quiet because the Trolls will probably be coming soon. Oh, and to hurry up." Mabel glared at the two men as they eyed each other. "Can we all argue later about Bill? Please?"

 "Fine."

 "Fine, I guess."

  _How on earth do you deal with these two every day?_ Princess asked. If she were human, Mabel guessed that she would be rolling her eyes.

 "They're not that bad," the brunette scolded her as the three of them caught up with the dog, following her up a set of stone stairs that had a hint of moisture on their surface. "I'm sure your family argues a lot too, you know."

 Princess fell silent, pausing on a step before hurrying up the rest with renewed energy. _They used to. But that's none of your business._

 Mabel took the subtle hint and didn't probe any further into Princess's life. That didn't stop the ache of pity and sadness from hitting her heart though.

 

 Meanwhile, back at the magic mirror, as the Pines family and Princess moved on and their voices faded away, there was a loud suction noise and three Trolls were expelled quickly in succession into the dank basement. Burly, Blabberwort, and Blue Bell rubbed at their eyes with mixed groans and whines before their vision adjusted to the dim lighting in the room. Burly hefted his axe a little higher on his shoulder and bared his teeth at his siblings.

 "What do you think we'll do with our own kingdom?" he asked, meaning the mysterious magical tenth one they had recently come out of.

 Blabberwort gestured about them as they began to make their way through the dusty old artifact piles. "We should have shoe parties! Every night!"

 "Ha, yeah!" Blue Bell chimed in, warming up to the idea. "And we'll have thousands of servants!"

 "They'll have to change their shoes ten times a day," Burly exclaimed with a chuckle, clapping his brother on the shoulder as they laughed.

 "And anyone found not taking care of their shoes will be whipped!" Blabberwort crowed. The three Trolls burst into raucous laughter, shoving each other as they headed for the stairs leading up to the prison floors again. Surely their father would be delighted by this new discovery of theirs! After all, who needed a princess to give to the King when they had a whole Kingdom to explore and subjugate in the name of the Troll Kingdom?

 

 The Pines family emerged in the prison itself, finding themselves standing before a great hall with long tables and benches to sit and eat at. A large tapestry hung at the far wall with various landmarks that none of them recognized or paid much mind to. Although instead of eating at said tables, there were about nine guards in dark uniforms that were sprawled at them, some with big tankards of beer still in hand. All of them were still and coated in a light layer of pink dust that all of the family members recognized quickly.

 "Are they all... dead?" Mabel asked gingerly, breaking away from her twin's grip to study one of the guards. His mouth was open and he seemed to be snoring quietly, drool dribbling off of his lips.

  _It's just Troll dust,_ Princess said dismissively as if it were a blatant answer. She was already halfway across the room and heading for the hallway. _We should keep going, before they wake up._

 "So this dust just puts people to sleep?"

 Stan wrinkled his nose. "That explains a lot."

 "So the Trolls used it on you when they reached the Shack," Dipper deduced with a furrowed brow. One of the guards beside him twitched in his sleep and the young man hurriedly scrambled away, much to Mabel and Stan's brief amusement. "Um, how long does this dust work for, exactly?"

  _A few hours_ , Princess responded, not that he could hear her. _They should be waking up soon._ _Believe me, you don't want to be around when they raise the alarm._

 "A few hours," Mabel relayed to her brother before frowning at Princess. "Wait, it's been almost twenty-four hours since you left here, though. That doesn't make any sense."

  _I guess time passes differently between these worlds._

 Before they could discuss the matter further loud laughter reached their ears and the four all froze at the familiar sound. Princess bared her teeth and shouted, _Hide! The Trolls are here!_ Mabel didn't need to repeat these words for the two males to get the meaning behind the dog's actions; the three humans rushed behind the nearest table, crouching together out of sight. Princess scurried behind a table as well, her hackles raised as she eyed the entrance to the basement.

 Within a minute the three creatures were in plain sight and laughing as they shoved each other gleefully.

 "We'll have hundreds more shoes than we have at home!" Blabberwort cried as they entered the room, throwing her arms out and narrowly avoiding nailing her brothers in the nose.

 "No, we'll have _thousands_!" Burly corrected, though for once this didn't strike up a fist fight between the two. The female Troll beamed and the three laughed as they headed down the hallway.

 "I can't wait to see the look on Dad's face when we show him what we've found!" Blue Bell's voice was heard to say before the sound of their laughter faded as they went into a different room.

 The Pines family breathed out a collective sigh of relief and stood hesitantly. Princess made her way out from behind her own table, sniffing back towards the basement before growling softly. _We really need to keep going. Those Trolls aren't the brightest but who knows whether their father is still here - or someone much worse._

 "Wait a minute," Stan said as he realized the golden retriever was heading down the hallway as well, "Mabel, sweetie, ask Miss High and Mighty where exactly we are, would you? It's not like we've just been thrown into an entirely different world or anything."

 "Uh, she can hear you, Grunkle Stan," Mabel reminded him, grimacing at how Princess came to stop and bared her teeth at her great-uncle.

 "I, for one, would also like to know where we are," Dipper jumped in. He entwined his fingers with his sister's gently and she gave his hand a brief squeeze back. "If we aren't in Gravity Falls, where _are_ we?"

 Princess groaned before plodding back towards them, jumping up onto the table closest to the tapestry on the far wall. Her blue eyes were narrowed at the family members as she looked back at them. _Fine. You're all in the Nine Kingdoms, which is not in the same world as your own village, from what I am guessing._

 "Hold on, Nine Kingdoms?" Mabel inquired, moving closer with Stan and Dipper to where Princess was. "What are those? Like, as in fairytale kingdoms?"

  _Sort of._ It was clear that the princess was growing annoyed already with their ignorance. _Have you ever heard of the stories of Snow White or Cinderella?_

 "Of course! Everyone knows about Snow White and Cinderella."

 "Mabel, look at this," Dipper said, drawing her focus to where her twin and great-uncle were studying the tapestry. She realized hastily that this tapestry was actually a gigantic map and those landmarks were castles and forests designating different kingdoms. She ran her free hand over the squiggly borders of the area closest to her head reading _4th Kingdom_ and her brow furrowed as the names started to ring bells in her head.

 Stan snorted. "This looks like some kind of fairytale world. _Red Riding Hood Forest_? Where are we supposed to be, huh? _Sleeping Beauty Land_?"

  _You are in the 4th kingdom_ , Princess spoke up, moving her paw to gesture toward where Mabel was looking. _This is the Snow White Memorial Prison, named after my grandmother._

 Mabel nearly choked on her own breath, head whipping at the speed of light to meet the animal's eyes. "Hold on! Your grandmother was _Snow White?_ You mean that all of these fairytales - "

  _They're all real._ Princess returned her shocked gaze with a steely look. _All of those fairytales are our history. The greatest queens in the past centuries, though almost all of them are dead now. That was the Golden Age. Some say Cinderella might be alive still, but that's ridiculous. She'd have to be about two hundred years old._

 "She's saying this is all real? All of these little kid stories?" Dipper quickly caught on without Mabel's assistance, his eyes wide as he turned back to the map. "Magic and Trolls and...? How? How is this even possible?"

 "Sounds like a load of bullshit to me," Stan muttered quietly, though he too was staring in amazement at the map.

 "Princess says that there were great queens, who I am guessing were princesses we know about in our world?" Mabel glanced at Princess for confirmation, framing her explanation more like a question. The dog nodded and she continued, "These fairytales are the history of these kingdoms, I guess. She said Cinderella might even be alive still, Dipper! Can you imagine that?"

 Dipper shook his head, his own fingers splayed over the spot where a large building was shown on the map reading _Snow White Memorial Prison_. "None of this seems real. You said Princess's grandmother was Snow White?"

 Mabel squealed as his words caused her to remember that detail and she turned back to Princess, who was watching them carefully. "That's right! But wait, if you're a dog right now does that mean you're actually a human princess?"

 The golden retriever huffed and moved to stand up daintily on her hind legs, head held high. Even in a canine form, she looked regal and proper. Mabel mentally applauded herself for recognizing this early on. _Yes. My name is Princess Pacifica of the 4th Kingdom, soon to be Queen of the 4th Kingdom._

 In her excitement Mabel felt her lips twisting up into a smile. "Well, it's nice to officially meet you, Pacifica! I'm Mabel Pines, uh, of Gravity Falls, and this is my twin Dipper and my Grunkle Stan."

 "Pacifica?" Dipper turned to the dog and raised an eyebrow. "Um, hey, I guess."

 Princess - or rather, Pacifica - seemed to be trying to roll her eyes as she settled back down on the table. _Right. Now are we_ done _with the history lesson?_

 "If she's stuck as a dog," Dipper interjected, not seeming to realize that the golden retriever wanted to leave the room, "then how did she get like this?" He looked to Mabel for translation and she shrugged before sending a questioning look back at Pacifica.

 The question was obviously annoying her, though Mabel sensed something akin to discomfort behind her snobby tone. _The Evil King. He's... Well, he_ was _a prisoner in this place. He poisoned my parents and nearly killed me. He used to be an advisor to my father before he killed them both. I never liked him. He claims to be my stepfather but I doubt he's really related to me at all. Probably some nobody who lied his way into the castle. He's cunning, probably the smartest man in all of the Nine Kingdoms, and I should have known he would have found some way to escape after being here for so many years. He used a magic dog to cause me to switch bodies with a creature that is now using_ my _face to pretend to be me! We have to go back to his cell. Perhaps there's something there that can fix this whole mess. Now, come_ on _!_

 With that, Pacifica leapt off the table and padded down the hallway. Mabel nudged the two men and pointed to where Pacifica was heading. "She said we need to go to this evil guy's cell and see if he left anything behind that might change her back into a human again. Apparently he killed her parents, says he's her stepfather, and he's super smart."

 "Never thought I'd be _exploring_ a prison instead of trying to get _out_ of one," Stan grumbled. Nonetheless the three of them followed the dog down the hall, turning the corner as Pacifica headed for an open door that read MAXIMUM SECURITY WING.

 

 Down below in the basement still, the mirror rippled one last time as it expelled its final pursuer. Bill glanced around as his vision swiftly readjusted, grinning to himself as he looked back at the mirror. With just a couple of sniffs to the air he discovered the elusive family and the princess had come through first, the Trolls close behind. They must have ventured upstairs after reconvening.

 Bill chuckled. How clever of them to find the magic mirror so soon. He definitely was enjoying this little chase.

 However, he couldn't allow any of them to leave. He needed to get that princess back to the King before he grew impatient and then he could play with his prey further. His brown hands moved over the loose triangle-decorated circle and his grin grew wickeder as he moved it back into place. A pulse of white light fluctuated off of the surface before the shimmering vision of the forest vanished. Now to the unsuspecting eye it appeared to be an ordinary dusty old mirror with normal glass.

 The Half Wolf chuckled again, louder this time, and his dark blue eyes morphed into the gleaming golden ones as his fangs momentarily revealed themselves. Just as swiftly as they had appeared though, the gold became blue and the fangs became teeth once more. He hurried out of the dusty room, sniffing the air occasionally as he made for the way out. After all, he had no desire to be sent back to his prison cell again and he needed to move fast if he wanted to nab the dog and get out of here.

 Though perhaps he could have a little more fun with those twins before he left so soon.

 

  _Ugh, who in the fairying forest decided it was a good idea to give this man a dog anyways?_ Pacifica muttered to herself, as if forgetting that Mabel could hear her. The group entered the now open prison cell, looking around warily at the small space. _They even got the animal a bowl with food in it! When I turn back, I'm going to make sure they isolate him where no stupid Trolls can free him from his cell._

 "That's a little harsh," Mabel pointed out, breaking from the others to peer at the cot in the corner. It looked like it had rarely been used and there were tally marks scratched into the walls. Other words were scratched down as well, giving the brunette chills.

  _SHE'S WATCHING ME._

_I HAVE TO GET OUT._

_WHAT A WASTE._

_SOON IT WILL BE TIME._

_ALWAYS WATCHING._

 "This isn't disturbing at all," Mabel mumbled, backing away from the last two words by her face. That phrase looked particularly new.

 "I don't like this place," Stan declared. His hands were still handcuffed behind his back and he was aching to have them freed. Something was off about this cell, and he didn't know why but he felt as if he were experiencing deja vu. He frowned at the words scratched into the stone and the urge to get the kids out of this prison grew. "What exactly is she looking for, Mabel?"

  _Anything that could help end this ridiculous magic spell_ , Pacifica sniped back.

 "Something to end the spell," Mabel repeated, rubbing her temples. A pressure was building up in her skull, perhaps all of the stress from the last twenty-four hours culminating finally. She glanced over at her brother and something in her heart clenched as she noticed he was rubbing his head too. He even looked a bit pale as he looked around. She moved over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, startling him. "Dipper? Are you okay?"

 "Fine." He definitely didn't look or feel fine. The young man had a headache and he couldn't figure out why. Something about this prison was making him feel queasy. "I think I need some fresh air."

 Mabel nodded in understanding. "I'll go with you. I think this is all getting to me too."

 Stan glanced toward the twins uneasily as they walked out of the cell. "Alright, well, don't go too far. Just wait outside the cell, alright, kids?"

 "We'll be fine, Grunkle Stan," Mabel reassured him, though she held onto her brother's jacket tighter.

 Not even before she finished speaking, Dipper's eyes widened as he caught sight of three shapes lurking in the dark out of Stan's sight. He grabbed Mabel's arm despite the pain in his head but he didn't get more than a step back (and a small protest from Mabel) in before pink dust filled their vision. The twins grabbed their heads with one hand as Stan shouted urgently and soon everything faded to black as they fell to the floor, fast asleep.

 Stan charged for the twins immediately but Burly slammed the door shut in the old man's face, cackling as his siblings began to pick up the fallen twins. "KIDS! GET BACK HERE WITH MY FAMILY YOU OVERGROWN GNOMES! DIPPER! MABEL! KIDS!"

  _It's no use yelling for them_ , Pacifica tried to tell him from where she was hiding under the cot. No, she was definitely _not_ hiding out of fright of being recognized and captured by those bumbling idiots. _They're asleep. They'll likely be taken back to the Troll Kingdom._

 Stan, of course, heard none of this. He continued to try and ram his body into the door, yelling obscenities at the Trolls even after they left the hallway. An eerily familiar sense of deja vu washed over the man again, stronger than before, and he had to fight back the urge to scream.

  _I won't lose you like I lost him_ , Stan vowed internally as he shut his eyes, shaking.

 

 "What about the old man?" Burly asked his brother and sister as they walked away from the prison, gesturing back towards the building. Even with Dipper slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, it was fairly easy for him to move about. "He could be some sort of wizard."

 Blue Bell guffawed and shook his head. "Him? He was knocked out the second we got into his little shack, remember? What could he do?"

 "Besides, we already have a wizard and a witch with us," Blabberwort reminded the Troll, patting the woman over her own shoulder. "Dad is going to be so pleased with us!"

 "What about the princess/ And the King?" Burly pressed, glancing back at the prison. At that the three Trolls hesitated. They knew not to cross the Evil King of all people. It wasn't difficult to imagine what the guy might do to them if he found out they weren't returning with the princess in tow.

 Blabberwort shook off her worries with a wave of her hand. "Ha, he can go suck an elf! We've captured the witch and wizard from the tenth kingdom!"

 The Trolls cheered in glee and shoved each other a bit, jostling the twins' heads from where they were hanging over Blabberwort and Burly's shoulders. Unfortunately it was right at that instant that a loud alarm blared from inside the prison and all of the Trolls froze, looking at each other as one.

 "They're waking up!" Blue Bell exclaimed, hurrying down the path towards the river with his siblings following immediately after. "We'd better hurry before we get sent back to prison!"

 A man manning his longboat looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps and cried out in shock as Burly yanked him out, throwing the poor soul into the river. The Trolls cackled, setting the their captives down first before hopping into the boat and grabbing a pair of oars each. The alarm bells rang in their pierced ears as they began to row away, ignoring the original owner's horrified shouts.

 "Ha, yeah!" Burly responded, baring his teeth in delight at his brother. "I wish I could be there though to see the governor's face when he finds that old fool in the _King's_ cell!"

 

 The governor of the Snow White Memorial Prison was indeed, predictably, not pleased when instead of the Evil King he was brought an old man and a golden retriever back from the Maximum Security Wing. He himself was a tall man with blond hair and large muscles, fit like a swimmer. His eyes were narrowed as he listened to the old man shout at the guards dragging him in, most of which were profane language.

 "Get your hands off of me, knuckleheads!" Stan struggled in the grasp of the men, wishing for the hundredth time that he had thought to get his handcuffs off before being taken from the cell. "You have to listen to me! My great-niece and great-nephew have been kidnapped!"

 "Enough!" The man stopped momentarily in his fight to study the imposing man before him. His gaze turned wary as the governor moved out from behind his desk in his office to glare down at Stan. Stan had been to prison once before in Columbia but even then the man in charge had been a short Hispanic who had a high-pitched voice that he hadn't been able to take seriously. He had a feeling he was going to loathe this governor.

 "Who are you? Why were you in the King's cell?"

 Never give them a real name. That had always been Stan's inner resolve, especially when he had been kicked out of quite a few states in the country. Perhaps that would keep him alive long enough for him to get away. It had been so long since he had had to change his name for the sake of a con.

 That thought only brought back bad memories so he quickly plastered a false smile on his face. "The name's Steve Pierce. I didn't have anything to do with whatever happened with that King of yours, I swear, so if you would kindly - "

 "You were found locked in the cell with the King's dog!" The governor slammed his fist down on the desk behind him and Stan fought down the urge to jump at the sharp noise. Damn, this man had a lot of power behind those fists. He immediately cursed himself for thinking of the implications of fighting this guy. "He has requested to keep that dog in his cell with him for three years, the only request I have ever allowed in the thirty years I have worked at this prison!"

 "Thirty?" Stan whistled in mock-appreciation. "That's impressive."

 "And no prisoner has ever escaped under my watch before." The governor's face was deadly calm, his nostrils flaring. " _Ever_."

 "What do you want, a medal?"

 "Then you show up in the King's cell," the man went on as if Stan had not spoken, "and I find out that the Trolls are missing from their cell, and I have lost a Half Wolf as well. All in ONE DAY!"

 The wheels were beginning to turn in Stan's head at these words, his smile twitching. If the Trolls had gotten free and in turn freed this King everyone hated, then would the Half Wolf be...? "A Half what, now?"

 "Wolf." The governor relaxed in his chair despite the blatant tension in his shoulders and eyes. "One of our more dangerous prisoners, though not nearly as dangerous as the King in my opinion. Which brings me back to the matter at hand! Why were you in the King's cell? Do you have any idea what kind of danger the Nine Kingdoms are in?"

 Stan glanced at the golden retriever beside him. The animal's eyes were gazing back at him calmly, as if they didn't have a care in the world. _All this mess just for a dog and an evil bastard?_

 He decided it was probably a good idea to tell the truth, since he couldn't think up a lie good enough to get him out of this situation. He was in an entirely new world; who knew what the norm was for people around here? "I was locked in there by the Trolls that escaped. They took my great-niece and great-nephew as well."

 The governor sneered at the old man. "Why don't I believe you?"

 "It's the truth!" Stan lurched forward, ready to throttle the large man with his hands behind his back if he had to. The guards held him back with strong hands and he fought to throw them off. "They used that same dust that they knocked me out with, that pink stuff! B - Besides, do I look like a man who has been in trouble with the law before?"

 "Why are you wearing handcuffs then?"

  _Damn._ Stan gritted his teeth. "That was a misunderstanding! I didn't do anything wrong!"

 "Sure." The governor stood and walked back towards Stan once more, rubbing the wrist of his right hand. "You want to know what happened the last time I thought of letting someone go loose, Pierce?"

 "Uh - "

 "I lost _my hand_ to the jackass!" The governor thrust his right hand forward - only it wasn't attached to his actual wrist anymore. It was a prosthetic, made to look precisely like his real hand. Stan leaned away, feeling ill and more than a little unnerved. "He bit my hand clean off right through the cell bars! Gave him a hundred beanstalk lashes the next day, and he never did it again. The point is, you can't trust anybody in this prison, see? It's anarchy out there in those cells!"

 Stan was starting to get why this King had wanted to escape from his prison cell so badly.

 The governor walked back to his desk, screwing his right hand prosthetic right back on. "Even if I did believe your story, which I don't, I can't risk letting you go so easily. Give him a prison uniform and put him in the cell with Jeff the Dwarf and Toby the Goblin."

 "Yes, sir, Mr. Poolcheck."

 "Wha - ?" Stan's heart plummeted and he renewed his struggles as he was dragged from the office. "No! You can't do this! I need to get to the twins! Wait! I'm not going back to prison!"

 The door shut with a loud _BANG!_ It was quiet in the room for a minute before Poolcheck turned back to the guard holding the leash of the golden retriever. The dog looked at him and he snorted, shaking his head.

 "What should we do with the dog, sir?"

 "Slip the thing some rat poison in its dinner tonight. Then we'll throw the stupid thing into the incinerator." He chuckled and walked out of the room, leaving the guard alone with the horrified Pacifica.

  _WHAT?! How dare you feed me rat poison? After every fund Alfred made me give to this dump you decide to poison me? That's_ it. _That old man may not be able to hear me, but he had better have a plan to get us out of here. Otherwise I guess it's up to me..._

* * *

 Bill hadn't intended on following the Trolls. He really hadn't. Perhaps it was a twist of fate that had caused him to pause as he watched the stupid siblings haul those twins away to the river, nose twitching as he sensed that the dog was trapped in the King's cell with that old fool.

 ...Well, it wasn't like he'd be able to open the door without the key and there was no time. The prison guards were already waking up.

 So he ended up jumping onto the first empty boat he found and tailed the group of Trolls down the river, his eyes fixed on the twin heads of brown hair he spotted in their boat even from this distance.

 Sure, this was little detour in his original plan and he probably shouldn't be _helping_ the people he needed to get the dog from in the first place, but it was rather enthralling. His lips curved into a smirk as the boat up ahead pulled into the Troll Kingdom. Besides, he had always wanted to piss off Gideon the Troll King.

 Better late than never.

* * *

 Stan was grateful for the usage of his hands once more but being shoved into a dim prison cell caused him to grumble under his breath. He rubbed his sore wrists and glanced down at the uniform he was now wearing. He was eighty percent certain that the odd-colored stain on the stomach was dried blood and the thought made him want to punch a wall.

 He needed to get out of this place.

 With a quick look at the triple-bunked-bed pushed to the side of the cell, he wrinkled his nose as he realized his two prison inmates were fast asleep on the top and bottom bunk already. He cautiously climbed the ladder up to the middle bunk, pulling himself onto the scratchy mattress and grimacing at how the mattress above him sagged. This entire prison was in need of a renovation for sure. He could only hope the meals were nicer than he was anticipating.

 "What are you in for?" Stan started a bit at the sound of a small voice speaking to him from below. He quickly regained his composure and rested his chin in his hand casually.

 "Ah, bank job," he lied. "Couple of people got hurt. What about you, huh?"

 "Aggravating."

 Stan frowned, unsure he had heard right, but before he could respond a remarkably small head popped up near his own with a brown beard. He was a little unnerved by the sight of the short man missing an eye, an X crossed over where it might have been like it had been stitched down. Other than that, the man looked like an overgrown garden gnome with his red pointy hat and shaggy brown hair. His expression was dangerously serious so Stan made sure he didn't look like he was amused by the other's appearance.

 "I'm very easily aggravated," the small gnome-like man continued with a tilt of his head.

 Stan nodded. "I see." He didn't want to find out what exactly got this guy aggravated.

 The man examined Stan for another couple of moments before sticking out his much smaller hand. "The name's Jeff. Yours?"

 "Um, Steve Pierce," Stan lied, gears running in his head as he shook the man's hand. "Jeff as in Jeff the Dwarf?"

 Jeff's small eyebrow rose. "You've heard about me?"

 Stan contemplated lying and seeing if that got him on this Dwarf's good side, but he wasn't entirely certain if that was the best plan given how the little guy's eyes gleamed. "Um, only in passing word, you know."

 That seemed to be good enough for Jeff who nodded and pointed a stubby finger at the older man. "If you get stabbed...save the knife for me, will you?"

 The very thought caused his insides to churn but Stan forced a smile onto his lips. "Yeah. Absolutely."

 Jeff smiled slightly (causing Stan to catch an unwanted glimpse of the Dwarf's imperfect stark yellow teeth) and ducked back down to his own bunk. The man shook his head and ran a hand through his greying hair with a sigh.

 "Do you...like carving?"

 Such a question caught him off-guard and he hesitated, unsure what this new (higher-pitched and much more irritating to hear) voice meant by that. "Well... Not carving _flesh_ or anything, I suppose."

 A greening hand with bulbous spots all over the flesh slowly lowered from the top bunk, twisting around a knobby wrist so that Stan could see what was in the palm of it better. It appeared, to him, to be a hunk of white clay that was about the size of a disposable camera. Right now there was nothing to be made out so he wrinkled his nose. It also smelled a bit like a rat's behind.

 "I've been...carving."

 "You have, uh, real talent." Stan almost snorted at his own words.

 There was a few moments of silence before there was a faint creaking of wood and feet in shabby brown shoes appeared on the rungs by Stan's head. The man tried to look away from the appallingly disgusting skin on the legs but it was rather difficult to ignore. A face came into view soon enough, tinted green like the rest of the creature's body, with a large nose and wide lips. Those eyes were wide with interest, causing Stan's stomach to churn. This strange creature appeared more innocent in his expression than the Dwarf, though.

 "My name is Toby the Goblin," the creature told him in an obnoxiously nasally voice. "Would you like to be my friend, Steve?"

 Stan shut his eyes for a second, counting to ten. When he opened them again, he forced another smile on his face although this one was much more strained.

 "What _exactly_ does that entail?"

* * *

 It was about mid-afternoon by the time that the golden carriage arrived at the old castle, which had once been magnificent. The King felt a rush of disappointment as he recalled how great it had been when he had lived there, plotting out how to doom the remainder of the line of White and carrying on the work he had been entrusted so long ago. It was his life's work. How strange it felt to be back, and yet so...right.

 He got down out of the carriage, thanking the servants and telling them to pull the carriage around the back so that no one would think it suspicious. For his plan to work, there had to be no one who knew that the princess was here, whether she was a dog or a human.

 Speaking of which, he turned to said princess (whom had once been a canine) and fought the urge to roll his eyes at how she let her tongue wag out of her mouth, roaming around the interior of the ruined castle. The King gazed at the cobwebs dangling from the pillars, stretching across the ceiling, and made a mental note to have his servants get rid of those. It wouldn't do to have to deal with spiders while he worked.

 The hall that led to the stairs at the back of the castle was tall, almost as tall as Princess Pacifica's palace in the 4th Kingdom was, though it was merely made of stone here. A large tapestry hung at the back, faded and worn from years of neglect since the King had been absent. He made another note to have that tapestry cleaned thoroughly (and carefully). He noticed the dog-turned-princess moving on all fours toward the stairs and nudged her in the side, beckoning for her to stand. The princess lowered her head sadly and shakily struggled to get up with his assistance. Now he did roll his eyes.

 "You will have to learn to stand on your own."

 "But - But I'm scared." She looked to him with large frantic blue eyes. "I'm scared I'll fall."

 "Well, learn to face your fear," he said bluntly, looking back to the tapestry. "You're going to have to become a woman, not a dog."

 The princess nodded sadly before noticing that his attention was elsewhere. She looked between him and the tapestry in befuddlement, cocking her head to the side in the same way a canine would. On the cloth was a beautiful woman with long dark hair, her expression stern. Her eyes were cold as she gazed down at the two staring up at her. The princess who was formerly a dog couldn't stop herself from shuddering at the intensity of that gaze.

 "Who is she?"

 The King's expression morphed into one of vague fondness, or something resembling such emotion. His eyes remained as cold as the woman in the tapestry's own.

 "She was once a great and beautiful queen. She took over after her late husband, ran her own kingdom, took no nonsense from anyone. She was a strong leader, one that many feared as she grew powerful. Then one day she ordered her huntsman to bring her the heart of her stepdaughter and - well, it all went downhill from there. Her stepdaughter married a prince and overthrew this ruler, her own stepmother. She showed little respect to the woman who had brought her up, who had tried to do her best for the girl. The queen was forced to wear a pair of iron slippers that they had heated over red hot coals, and she was to dance at the new queen's wedding. Her feet blistered and scarred, and she dragged her useless broken feet behind her through the snow as she crawled on all fours...like an animal. It was on that day that she swore vengeance against the family of Snow White and all her descendants - even if it meant her revenge would not come during her own lifetime. She passed off her duties to one she believed would protect her mission and fulfill to the best of his ability."

 The princess turned to look at the King, horrified as she realized whom he meant as his expression hardened like the stone walls of this castle they stood in. "And now the time has come to fulfill my mission, and destroy the remainder of the legacy of Snow White. In turn, I shall take back what was rightfully the queen's - the _true_ queen's - and all shall pay for their wrongdoings against us both. It's time to get to work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally getting to the good stuff! Believe me, this is the least of the Pines family's problems by a longshot, and there are going to be many more chapters with bucket loads of hilarity (if you have seen the 10th Kingdom, you know what I am talking about, so don't spoil it for the others ;) ). I probably should have explained the breaks in the sections before, but if there is a physical marker for a break in pov that is usually because the characters are in a different setting from the previous one. There were quite a few in the first few chapters but things are going to kind of merge together once everything comes together.
> 
> Also I'm going to address this now: Pacifica and Mabel are not a side pairing to BillDip in this story, as it says in the tags. The roles that these two play aren't small and if anything, Mabel has more of a role than Dipper. Their relationship will develop just like Bill and Dipper's, and I'm even thinking of making a one-shot collection of these two involving them in this au once The Art of Delusion is finished to develop this relationship even further.


End file.
